Before You Kill Yourself: a suicide prevention podcast.
Jul 20, 2026 · 26 min · 14 segments
Why do some men spend an afternoon talking about sports, parenting, and work, only to drive home listening to The National or James Blake and cry a little? In this episode, we explore the hidden…
Leo FlowersHost
Why do men tear up after good conversations? This came up for me because I was reading The New Yorker, uh, as you can see here, the new...
And there was an article about escape rooms for middle-aged people, and I was like, "Oh, that's interesting." Um, and one of the escape rooms, quote-unquote escape rooms is, is titled "A Playdate for Dads." And I'm gonna read you, uh, it's, it's one paragraph.
It says, "Work as a team alongside three to four other dads, progressing through a series of short conversations about pro sports, college sports, kids, and their sports while avoiding eye contact, politics, and any hint of emotional vulnerability.
And each of you, uh, drinking a beer as quickly as possible without being obvious about it.
The final challenge, make open-ended plans to grab lunch sometime, knowing it won't happen until your spouses schedule another thing that forces you all together again.
Successful completion is driving away in your own separate cars, unaware that you are each listening to The National or James Blake, and maybe even crying a little.
You don't know why, doesn't mean anything, just sometimes feels good to cry a little." Okay? Now, I read this and I go, "Oh, I'm not the only one crying in my car?" I thought I was the only one who felt like this after not just talking to guys, but sometimes I'll be hanging around with people for a while, friends, family, colleagues, and I'd feel this need afterwards to tear up, to cry, to emote, to express, to, to yell, to, I don't know, to get in my body or roll around on the grass or, uh, you know, dig a ditch.
I just had a need to just ahh, you know? Uh, almost like peel off my skin or something.
But, but crying is something I've, I've done, and I never quite understood it until I read this.
And I'm like, the fact that, that, that it's in The New Yorker, that it's, uh, that they've made it, you know, a, a fictional escape room tells me that it's not just me, that there, there are guys who are crying after interactions.
Now, even though we're talking about guys, this is obviously something that I'm sure women experience, where you've been hanging out with friends, colleagues, whoever, and then you get in a car and you just have a overwhelming sense to cry.
Why do men tear up after good conversations? This came up for me because I was reading The New Yorker, uh, as you can see here, the new...
And there was an article about escape rooms for middle-aged people, and I was like, "Oh, that's interesting." Um, and one of the escape rooms, quote-unquote escape rooms is, is titled "A Playdate for Dads." And I'm gonna read you, uh, it's, it's one paragraph.
It says, "Work as a team alongside three to four other dads, progressing through a series of short conversations about pro sports, college sports, kids, and their sports while avoiding eye contact, politics, and any hint of emotional vulnerability.
And each of you, uh, drinking a beer as quickly as possible without being obvious about it.
The final challenge, make open-ended plans to grab lunch sometime, knowing it won't happen until your spouses schedule another thing that forces you all together again.
Successful completion is driving away in your own separate cars, unaware that you are each listening to The National or James Blake, and maybe even crying a little.
You don't know why, doesn't mean anything, just sometimes feels good to cry a little." Okay? Now, I read this and I go, "Oh, I'm not the only one crying in my car?" I thought I was the only one who felt like this after not just talking to guys, but sometimes I'll be hanging around with people for a while, friends, family, colleagues, and I'd feel this need afterwards to tear up, to cry, to emote, to express, to, to yell, to, I don't know, to get in my body or roll around on the grass or, uh, you know, dig a ditch.
I just had a need to just ahh, you know? Uh, almost like peel off my skin or something.
But, but crying is something I've, I've done, and I never quite understood it until I read this.
And I'm like, the fact that, that, that it's in The New Yorker, that it's, uh, that they've made it, you know, a, a fictional escape room tells me that it's not just me, that there, there are guys who are crying after interactions.
Now, even though we're talking about guys, this is obviously something that I'm sure women experience, where you've been hanging out with friends, colleagues, whoever, and then you get in a car and you just have a overwhelming sense to cry.
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