Ceasefire From Intrusive Thoughts

I was reading, I don't know, New York Times, I believe, and they were talking about the war in the Middle East and just different conflicts throughout the world.

And one of the things that stood out to me was that a ceasefire between warring parties, warring countries, is much more likely to hold when there is a neutral third party observing both sides, documenting the violations, and helping restore trust when one side feels threatened.

And I realized the same principle can apply to the war inside our minds, right? Because we all have that internal ceasefire or that internal war conflict where we're just like, can it stop? Can we make this rumination or obsessive thinking come to an end? Am I always going to be just obsessing over this? And it can feel like you're under siege, right? It feels like one voice is saying you're a failure, and another voice is trying to defend me, and a third voice wants to numb out, and a fourth voice wants to attack back, and the fifth one just doesn't even wanna be here, right? So without a monitor, every intrusive thought feels like a fresh act of aggression.

The conflict escalates, we spiral out of control, we find ourselves unable to sleep, But a third party monitor can introduce itself as like a natural or neutral observer, right? Kind of like zooming out.

So your question is, who would serve as this third party? Who would be this person who's going to monitor us, who's going to monitor me and my thoughts and thoughts? kind of allow a path to a ceasefire one is a therapist right you're like duh but you have to understand a therapist functions much like an international peacekeeping organization They notice when intrusive thoughts violate agreed-upon boundaries.

They help us interpret events accurately because, you know, our brain can see things in a catastrophic way and not in a realistic way, or it might even see it in a romantic way, right? So we might be at one extreme or the other where, like, Things are horrible, disastrous, and cataclysmic, or it's wonderful, amazing, and the best ever, right? But the therapist is like, probably somewhere in the middle, right? A therapist also can help us de-escalate when the conflict intensifies.

So those moments where we just feel overwhelmed, on fire, and just want to tear out of our skin or does not be here, a therapist can come in and say, hey, let's hold both sides accountable, you and your thoughts, and let's really zoom out and look at what's being said.

And there have been a number of times where, and I know you're like, well, Leah, I only see my therapist once a week.

Well, typically, especially if you're going into your therapist for suicide prevention, They will allow you to text them off hours.

Now, they may not respond immediately, but I definitely have texted my therapist thoughts that I've had and feelings and the intrusive, obsessive ideas that I've felt just attacked with and surrounded by.

And they've responded, you know, not immediately, but in enough time.

But I also realize, and I've talked about this before, is why it's not enough to have one thing or one person to buoy you.

You want to be cultivating relationships with people who you feel like you could text at midnight or... early in the morning or in the middle of the day or on a weekend or what have you you know your therapist is one person who is also serving and treating other people and also having to take care of themselves you know typically they're married with kids and So it wouldn't be fair to think that the therapist has to be the only one to save you.

So we really want to cultivate a team of people who we feel like we can rely on.

Because not everybody can be there for us all the time.

And that's just the reality of life.

Therapists get sick, they're out of town, they might be camping somewhere.

So we want to be realistic about that.