Bazookaaah Number 80

Bazooka!

Well, Bazooka, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Well, here we are in September, the business end of the year.

It is, isn't it? The business end of the year.

Well, sort of the beginning of the year.

A year where we get going again.

Sorry I haven't been on the airwaves for the last month.

I've been performing at the Edinburgh Fringe to cunts.

But yes, we're getting going again now in September with a brand new bazooka.

It's the beginning of the year.

I think it's a callback to school days, isn't it? The beginning of the year when you start school again.

Hey, Gav, I wouldn't know about that.

I was homeschooled, man.

That's why I'm so tolerant and sound like I'm asking a question when I'm making a statement, because my mother thought she was Vanessa Redgrave.

Yes, but those back-to-school sayings in the shop windows, that keeps us Generation Xers awake at night.

Even now, getting an image of those letter-set words and big letters in the windows of the silly names of the pre-teen retailers like Charles Klinkhards or Henry Lewins or Robert Jenricks.

I'm sure you would have got the most square grey trousers at Robert Jenricks, wouldn't you? It does sound like one of them retailers, doesn't it? Well, everyone else was wearing Farrah Flares.

They always had silly names, those businesses, where you got kitted out in your black charcoal grey trousers and your white shirt and grey jumper, where corporate consumerism was enhanced by this brainwave from the entrepreneurs of shaming working-class people into getting an expensive uniform so there's no stigma for your child or family.

playing on the nouveau riche children, calling the unemployed kids tramps if their uniform is a bit, well, trampy.

We can't have that.

That's hurty words.

Go and get a really swish uniform for your kiddies now, mum.