Aurelius Whitlock's Murder Museum
Oct 1, 2026 · 42 min · 10 segments
In this bonus minigame-infused episode, Jared narrates an adventure on a cruise of the highest stakes: why is the soft serve machine broken?? Join our Patreon to support the show…
Jared RichardsonHost
Marcus RichardsonHostWell, for my foodie blog, Crispy Crusts, croissants and crumpets it's very important to get every soft serve and rate it and so it is very disheartening to hear this most important news of the ice cream machine being out but i have ways to kind of you know pull strings uh grease the ice cream machine wheels so to speak so i i think i'm still gonna go there but maybe with the right attitude they will have ice cream
Okay, so you approach the counter and the worker looks at you and says, oh, hello, would you like vanilla, chocolate, or swirl? I would like vanilla.
Okay, would you like chocolate sprinkles or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow sprinkles, I say as a bead of sweat begins to drip down the side of my face.
Whipped cream, fudge, or chocolate topping? I'm curious by the distinction between fudge and chocolate topping, but I will say fudge as I go short of breath.
No! Crispy Crust breaks down, falls on his knees, but pulls himself up to be...
The integrity of my job is to inform them that the ice cream machine is not working.
Is there anything I can do to get that sweet vanilla sludge into my system?
Well, for my foodie blog, Crispy Crusts, croissants and crumpets it's very important to get every soft serve and rate it and so it is very disheartening to hear this most important news of the ice cream machine being out but i have ways to kind of you know pull strings uh grease the ice cream machine wheels so to speak so i i think i'm still gonna go there but maybe with the right attitude they will have ice cream
Okay, so you approach the counter and the worker looks at you and says, oh, hello, would you like vanilla, chocolate, or swirl? I would like vanilla.
Okay, would you like chocolate sprinkles or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow sprinkles, I say as a bead of sweat begins to drip down the side of my face.
Whipped cream, fudge, or chocolate topping? I'm curious by the distinction between fudge and chocolate topping, but I will say fudge as I go short of breath.
No! Crispy Crust breaks down, falls on his knees, but pulls himself up to be...
The integrity of my job is to inform them that the ice cream machine is not working.
Is there anything I can do to get that sweet vanilla sludge into my system?
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