Jul 16, 2026 · 1 hr 1 min · 9 segments
Bryan is fresh off the first week of his Off-Broadway run and somehow learned the lore behind the Minions franchise. Erin is a working girl living in the phone-obsessed LA culture while becoming a…
Erin GibsonHost
Bryan SafiHost
But basically every day I'm just in a constant, just parked on a toilet, panicked every day.

But right before the show I'm always like, why am I doing this? I could just walk out the door right now.

you remember when we, and I want no one to take this personally, but do you remember when there was a tornado in Charlottesville and we had to?

Do you remember when there was a tornado in Charlotte and we had to cancel the show and we felt like we were on vacation because we didn't have a day off in so long?

And then, but right before it, you're like, please, please, please don't make me do this.

And so last night, which was Tuesday night or Monday night, last night was Monday night.

And on the nights before I don't have shows the next day, I was like, oh, I'm gonna have a drink tonight.

And so I did, I had a martini because Jessica Chaffin came to the show and we hung out after along with Richard Lawson.

The barflies are at – there's a square bar at one of the restaurants and they are there.

wanted to dislike them, but they were actually very sweet, except for when they said to the waiter whose name was like Giannis.

Who does – oh, Peculiar Purple Pie Man at Porcupine Peak is the strawberry shortcake.

I'll tell you who's not worried about ever getting COVID in the pandemic was anyone who was saying that, just spitting on everyone.

And he was like, no, why would there be, basically? And he goes, and also, like, So then we have one female minion and we have to tokenize her, like just this one minion in a blonde wig.



It's like – it was like in Game of Thrones when I was like, why does there have to be so much rape? And they're like – and people would be like, that's what war is.

Why are we putting shitty, stupid rules of our fucking stupid world – And putting them on basically genital-less minions.

Brian, I do think, I must say, I am, and this will come as no surprise, concerned about the vehicular mental health of drivers in Los Angeles more than ever.

More than ever, I just see people straight watching TV on their phones through where their steering column is and where their speedometer is.

You know, it used to be when I first moved to LA, I remember being on the 405 during rush hour, going to Santa Monica for my shitty day job and seeing people literally having the LA Times on their steering wheels.

That's the great thing about doing a show is for that hour and a half, you can't be on your phone.

Is that why you're doing it? Because you have a dad addiction? It's a lot of work to do.

On the scale of people who are addicted to their phones, you're not like these people.

No, that's – and thank you for – you're looking at your computer and I appreciate that.

I saw a man at the – first of all, and I'm very frustrated old lady style about how long everyone's taking on the machines because they're on the phones and they're just doomed.

Well, it sounds like you're not going to a gym that really cares about your actual health.

If anybody knows like, you know, ethical private equity, I'd love to start some businesses that are just fucking created out of hell on earth.

Because here's also after the show, it takes me a long time to decompress from it.

So I was like scrolling last night and I see an interview with Elle McPherson and the person was like, what is the philosophy that you're afraid to tell people that you can tell me now? That like,

It was a podcast, but he was like, what's the one thing you swear by that you're afraid to tell people? And she goes, that putting on a mask and staying indoors won't save your ill grandmother.

And I was like, you know what, Elle McPherson, like, I mean, you could say whatever you want, whatever, who cares? But like, I've actually had it.

That's like this contingency of like Richard Lawson was telling me there's, you know, in the Lower East Side, there's a, it's not as popular as it used to be, but there's a neighborhood called Dime Square.

And the like hip thing there, the countercultural thing there was first ironically that these like early 20-year-olds pretend to be MAGA as like a joke.

Also, is his ego still bruised that they were like the only people not invited to Taylor Swift's wedding?
Nobody listens.

Anyway, I want to say if anybody's got any hot things to do in L.A. that isn't Italy or my job.

So I don't know what the appeal is other than, ooh, oops, we did it again every year.

And then I have one friend here who's really into music, who's promised to take me to weird shows.

So funny to have no friends and watch friends is like the funniest thing you could do.

Well, I have nothing bad to say about the wonderful smelling Matthew Broderick other than he gives Cuck energy.

But he is in this movie and Michelle Pfeiffer is a hot lady who turns into a hawk at night.
She's

sure? Do you remember the fucking, like, do you remember the pose that Matthew Broderick is doing on it?

gotta tell you, they really just, like, shot everyone separately and then just, I don't even know, clip-arted this poster together.

Do you remember that documentary about the people living underground in New York City? Yeah,

They're like, okay, we've got Rutger Hauer, we've got Michelle Pfeiffer, we've got Matthew Broderick.

Well, Jesse, our friend, just read a book about the making of Clue because he's obsessed with Clue, as am I.

And, oh, and by the way, the reason Elizabeth Taylor ended up dropping out of Clue, which is so great, is she was like, I'll only do this if I get to play Miss Scarlet, who, by the way, would have been about 40 years younger than Elizabeth Taylor in that movie.

White, And that is when Carrie Fisher, that's really the postcards from the Edge era where Carrie Fisher had to go into rehab during that movie.

And so the movie, basically the production company was like, well, we can't hire, she's uninsurable.
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