Sep 14, 2026 · 55 min · 11 segments
Questions answered this episode: 1. I'm a single woman trying to discern if I'm called to marriage, but I'm not sure it would be responsible for me to have kids. I manage my depression, anxiety, and…
Christopher WestHost
Wendy WestHost
A major obstacle in determining this is that I'm not sure it would be responsible for me to have kids.
While I do pretty well managing them now, it's because as a single person, I get a lot of downtime, sleep, and exercise, and control over my day-to-day.
I'm especially worried because I'm embarrassingly really bad at sleep deprivation.
For some reason, if I get less than about seven hours for more than a few days, I quickly become unable to safely drive, work, or cook.
The months to years of limited adult interaction, sleep deprivation, stress, and absence of my normal outlets would cause my mental health to take a serious downturn.
I have some concerns about how I deal with the chaos and energy of older kids, but the main worry is those first few years.
If I were to become the guardian of a child unexpectedly, I'd do whatever it took to take good care of that child.
But I'm not sure it would be responsible to intentionally seek out motherhood with my limitations.
I don't feel comfortable betting that the surge of maternal hormones would instantly overcome all these challenges.
Do you think it's fair for me to date while I'm unsure of whether I should have children, now or maybe ever?
This is a multi-layered question that touches on deep and very sensitive issues.
matters of your heart, and I just want to honor that right at the start before I say anything.
A major obstacle in determining this is that I'm not sure it would be responsible for me to have kids.
While I do pretty well managing them now, it's because as a single person, I get a lot of downtime, sleep, and exercise, and control over my day-to-day.
I'm especially worried because I'm embarrassingly really bad at sleep deprivation.
For some reason, if I get less than about seven hours for more than a few days, I quickly become unable to safely drive, work, or cook.
The months to years of limited adult interaction, sleep deprivation, stress, and absence of my normal outlets would cause my mental health to take a serious downturn.
I have some concerns about how I deal with the chaos and energy of older kids, but the main worry is those first few years.
If I were to become the guardian of a child unexpectedly, I'd do whatever it took to take good care of that child.
But I'm not sure it would be responsible to intentionally seek out motherhood with my limitations.
I don't feel comfortable betting that the surge of maternal hormones would instantly overcome all these challenges.
Do you think it's fair for me to date while I'm unsure of whether I should have children, now or maybe ever?
This is a multi-layered question that touches on deep and very sensitive issues.
matters of your heart, and I just want to honor that right at the start before I say anything.
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