[gentle music] This is the Architect Exam Podcast, the official podcast of the Young Architect Academy.
I sat in the parking lot of the test center, keys still in the ignition, and I was seriously considering just driving home.
Not because I hadn't studied for my exam, because I definitely studied.
I had all of the books, the flashcards, all of the study apps, the study groups, and I even had a color-coded spreadsheet telling me exactly what to study and when.
I had prepared for everything, except I was missing the ability to believe in myself and that I was actually ready to take my exam.
And the thing is, that feeling didn't start in the parking lot.
It started months earlier.
There was a stretch of time, and I'm talking weeks, where I would open up my laptop after work every night, stare at the study material, and then feel my chest tighten and close the laptop altogether.
And that feeling happened every single night.
I'd tell myself that I was just tired.
I'd tell myself that I would start fresh tomorrow or maybe on the weekend, and then the weekend would come around and I'd find something else to do.
I kept moving the deadline and kept saying, "I'll just start after this project deadline," or, "I'll start after the holidays.
I'll start when things start to calm down." But things never calmed down, and every week that passed without studying made my anxiety even worse because now I was behind schedule for the deadline that I had set for myself, which made this whole thing feel even more impossible.
I had everything except the ability to actually sit down and start studying.
If this sounds familiar to you, this episode is for you.
Hi, everyone.
I'm Emily, and welcome back to the Architect Exam Podcast.
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