Dancing in the Rain

At the *Age of Aging*, we are sometimes lucky enough to have too many great stories to fit into a single podcast episode. We ran into this fortunate circumstance last season with our episode, “Ambiguous Loss,” which shared the stories of two caregivers grappling with their loved one’s decline from dementia. On today's mid-summer bonus episode, we share a third story we recorded that didn’t make the cut – not because it wasn't good enough, but because it was too complete to be a piece of something else.   Margo Woodacre is an author, teacher, former state senator, and for eight years, the primary caregiver for her husband, Ernie, who was living with Alzheimer's. In this standalone conversation, Woodacre reflects on caregiving, grief, identity, and the slow work of asking, “Who am I now?” that followed the loss of Ernie.    **Inside this episode:**  **2:02 – Becoming a Caregiver:** Woodacre reflects on the early signs of Ernie’s Alzheimer’s disease, the fear that followed his diagnosis, and the emotional challenge of caring for someone whose personality was beginning to change.  **6:18 – Learning to Dance in the Rain:** After a difficult moment in Ernie’s illness, Woodacre shares how a neighbor’s advice helped her reframe caregiving, change her own responses, and meet Ernie where he was. In doing so, she learned how to reduce conflict, preserve connection, and keep finding meaningful moments with him.  **10:26 – Delayed Grief:** Woodacre reflects on the surprising sense of relief that followed Ernie’s passing, the administrative work of closing a life, and the delayed grief that emerged once the busyness faded.  **13:49 – Losing and Reclaiming Identity:** After years of caregiving, Woodacre found herself asking who she was without Ernie and without the caregiving role that had shaped her daily life. She discusses journaling, meditation, teaching, politics, support groups, and solo travel as part of her path back to herself.  **16:20 – Traveling Alone Again:** Woodacre shares the story of her first solo trip after Ernie’s death, a dude ranch vacation that began in loneliness and became a turning point in rebuilding confidence, openness, and independence.  **19:08 – Advice for Grieving Caregivers:** Woodacre offers guidance for people beginning the grieving process: take your time, allow yourself to grieve, but don’t stay so long in pain that you miss the next lesson life may still have to offer.    **Resources available on the episode webpage linked below**   - Learn more about Margo Woodacre <!--THE END--> - Read more about Woodacre’s essay, “Journey Back to Self: Life After Caregiving,” on Making Sense of Alzheimer’s <!--THE END--> - Read Woodacre’s previous book, I’ll Miss You Too: The Off-to-College Guide for Parents and Students - Learn more about Woodacre’s forthcoming book, Crossroads: Reclaiming Identity When Life Changes Everything, scheduled for release in early fall Special thanks this episode to Margot Woodacre for sharing her story with us.  If this episode, or another episode, has resonated with you, please subscribe, leave us a review, or share it with somebody who would appreciate it. This makes a real difference in helping others find the show. And if you have a topic you’d like to hear, email us at [hello@ageofaging.org](mailto:hello@ageofaging.org).  *The Age of Aging* is a Penn Memory Center production, hosted by Editorial Director Terrence Casey and Producer Jake Johnson. Contributors include Dalia Elsaid, Jason Karlawish, Emily Largent, Alison Lynn, Morgann Adams, and Mischa Norton.   The show is made possible by generous support from the Michael Naidoff Communications Hub Fund and Lena Chow.