ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Life & ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women
Aug 27, 2026 · 53 min · 9 segments
Ever wonder why other parents seem so "chill"? Meanwhile, you feel like you're a volcano ready to explode at any moment? In today's episode, psychotherapist and author, Katie McKenna, walks us…
Katie McKennaGuest
Kelsey SpronkHost
So am I correct in hearing that you talked about the differences in the calm method versus other parenting approaches in that this method starts first with the parent, with that nervous system regulation, with trying to...
Awareness, but also the grace and compassion and understanding of the fact that we didn't have that example of how to calmly but... you know, consistently set those boundaries because they're uncomfortable.
Like you said, there's those fears that, and I feel that, I feel that with my kids is, and I always beat myself up after, you know, saying, why did I give on that boundary? Why did I let my daughter do that again? You know, she's, she's going to become spoiled or bratty or whatever it is, because I do, I feel so uncomfortable.
And I think there is that question of Is this the right thing? And not knowing what is the right thing.
What are we trying to build in our kids? And I think so often what we want to feel is that they are happy, that they're content, that they're well-adjusted.
And I think the confusion comes with How do we do that? Along with, like you said, we have those responses.
And I think that can be so incredibly difficult when we feel triggered by their responses, by maybe their frustration, their disagreement with a boundary that we've set in place.
But when we feel we don't feel good about doing that, and we also don't know whether that's the right thing, it can be really hard to stick with it.
There's like three different ways that people can enter into it to hopefully make it as affordable and accessible.
But the six weeks then, if you're watching, joining and joining the support calls, week three is only when we're going to, where we talk about limits.
Tell me how to set the limit, hold the limit, like where's the boundaries? And no, it is about this part with regulation, but this again is not like deep breathing and just count to 10 and then be calm.
It's a quiz to answer this very question so that you can find out your number.
A lot of parents think they go from zero to 10, right? So I've asked my child to do something three times, four times, and then it's building up and I just lose it.
But even from that, they're working from an assumption that they're at zero, that they're starting at calm.
But again, if you grow up being hypervigilant, if you grow up having to be aware and monitor your parents' tone, their behavior, the turn of a head, the close of a door, the look, you know, hearing the key in the lock that you're jumping up and you have to rush around to do things.
So am I correct in hearing that you talked about the differences in the calm method versus other parenting approaches in that this method starts first with the parent, with that nervous system regulation, with trying to...
Awareness, but also the grace and compassion and understanding of the fact that we didn't have that example of how to calmly but... you know, consistently set those boundaries because they're uncomfortable.
Like you said, there's those fears that, and I feel that, I feel that with my kids is, and I always beat myself up after, you know, saying, why did I give on that boundary? Why did I let my daughter do that again? You know, she's, she's going to become spoiled or bratty or whatever it is, because I do, I feel so uncomfortable.
And I think there is that question of Is this the right thing? And not knowing what is the right thing.
What are we trying to build in our kids? And I think so often what we want to feel is that they are happy, that they're content, that they're well-adjusted.
And I think the confusion comes with How do we do that? Along with, like you said, we have those responses.
And I think that can be so incredibly difficult when we feel triggered by their responses, by maybe their frustration, their disagreement with a boundary that we've set in place.
But when we feel we don't feel good about doing that, and we also don't know whether that's the right thing, it can be really hard to stick with it.
There's like three different ways that people can enter into it to hopefully make it as affordable and accessible.
But the six weeks then, if you're watching, joining and joining the support calls, week three is only when we're going to, where we talk about limits.
Tell me how to set the limit, hold the limit, like where's the boundaries? And no, it is about this part with regulation, but this again is not like deep breathing and just count to 10 and then be calm.
It's a quiz to answer this very question so that you can find out your number.
A lot of parents think they go from zero to 10, right? So I've asked my child to do something three times, four times, and then it's building up and I just lose it.
But even from that, they're working from an assumption that they're at zero, that they're starting at calm.
But again, if you grow up being hypervigilant, if you grow up having to be aware and monitor your parents' tone, their behavior, the turn of a head, the close of a door, the look, you know, hearing the key in the lock that you're jumping up and you have to rush around to do things.
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