Jun 22, 2026 · 56 min · 12 segments
In this episode I talk with **April Payne**, a Houston-based photographer whose work sits somewhere between documentary and editorial and who describes what she does simply as taking pictures of good…
April PayneGuestTomHostI fully agree, and o- one of the reasons why I wanted to ask you about it is because that's kind of been my experience for the last probably two years now.
Again, like people may or may not know, but my son, uh, is autistic, and he very often struggles in sensory environments like school classes.
And we have had a long time of him not being able to cope in educational environments, and that's meant being available for him at the drop of a hat.
And it's making sure that we are there to kind of help him when he needs it, rather than looking at work as the first port of call and the first thing that we need.
And when I heard you say that, it actually was the first time I've heard somebody articulate it in a long time, that that parental responsibility is a price that you have to factor in if you do want to balance work and family life.
And for me, it's meant, in some cases, having half an hour to an hour of time during the school day where I can actually work, and trying to work around it.
And one of the big advantages for me is a huge number of my clients are lovely American clients like you, April, who can work with me outside of ti- school time when there is other support and other, other things available.
But it changes the way that you operate.
Would I rather have been able to not worry about that and just look at my day every day and think, "9:00 to 5:00, that's when I'm gonna be working with maybe clients around the corner.
We could maybe even meet in person, have coffee, go through this coaching process in a much gentler way"? Well, yeah, maybe I would.
But the fact is that he didn't have a choice at that point as to whether or not he needed help.
He needed the help.
So what do you do? You have to make a choice.
Do you want to pursue the work, or do you want to pursue support, or is there a balance to be struck? And I really wish people talked about this more, because the thing that we've talked about already with- about motherhood and that kind of loss of self and the way that it impacts you early, that also happens for dads, but it isn't recognized in the same way because societally the pressure is different.
Like historically, they...
It would've been, it would've fallen on the mother to look after the children, and I, I think that's a really outdated view personally.
I, I, I don't, I don't personally subscribe to that.
If anything, I want there to be an equalization or I wanna be able to take responsibility as much as possible.
Like my wife works full-time, well, now part-time, but she works.
She has her own responsibilities, and I want her to maintain that.
So anything that we do, any responsibilities that previously have been thought of as a problem that a woman should just get over, one, it's nonsense.
That's, should never have been the attitude.
And two, I think we need to start having conversations about how making proper balance for family can cost both partners, it can cost careers.
And thinking about the price when you go in, and maybe making plans around it.
I fully agree, and o- one of the reasons why I wanted to ask you about it is because that's kind of been my experience for the last probably two years now.
Again, like people may or may not know, but my son, uh, is autistic, and he very often struggles in sensory environments like school classes.
And we have had a long time of him not being able to cope in educational environments, and that's meant being available for him at the drop of a hat.
And it's making sure that we are there to kind of help him when he needs it, rather than looking at work as the first port of call and the first thing that we need.
And when I heard you say that, it actually was the first time I've heard somebody articulate it in a long time, that that parental responsibility is a price that you have to factor in if you do want to balance work and family life.
And for me, it's meant, in some cases, having half an hour to an hour of time during the school day where I can actually work, and trying to work around it.
And one of the big advantages for me is a huge number of my clients are lovely American clients like you, April, who can work with me outside of ti- school time when there is other support and other, other things available.
But it changes the way that you operate.
Would I rather have been able to not worry about that and just look at my day every day and think, "9:00 to 5:00, that's when I'm gonna be working with maybe clients around the corner.
We could maybe even meet in person, have coffee, go through this coaching process in a much gentler way"? Well, yeah, maybe I would.
But the fact is that he didn't have a choice at that point as to whether or not he needed help.
He needed the help.
So what do you do? You have to make a choice.
Do you want to pursue the work, or do you want to pursue support, or is there a balance to be struck? And I really wish people talked about this more, because the thing that we've talked about already with- about motherhood and that kind of loss of self and the way that it impacts you early, that also happens for dads, but it isn't recognized in the same way because societally the pressure is different.
Like historically, they...
It would've been, it would've fallen on the mother to look after the children, and I, I think that's a really outdated view personally.
I, I, I don't, I don't personally subscribe to that.
If anything, I want there to be an equalization or I wanna be able to take responsibility as much as possible.
Like my wife works full-time, well, now part-time, but she works.
She has her own responsibilities, and I want her to maintain that.
So anything that we do, any responsibilities that previously have been thought of as a problem that a woman should just get over, one, it's nonsense.
That's, should never have been the attitude.
And two, I think we need to start having conversations about how making proper balance for family can cost both partners, it can cost careers.
And thinking about the price when you go in, and maybe making plans around it.
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