Loving Through the Hardest Season: Stories of Hope with Susan Norcom

So what would you say was most surprising to you as you stepped into the caregiving role?

I think the most surprising thing was honestly just how much I loved her and how much I really cared for her.

It really makes you stop and think when you have to do things day in and day out, taking care of that person, you really see how much you really love that person.

Everybody loves their mom and dad, but when you're taking care of them, there is just nothing like that particular kind of love.

Yeah, and as a CNA, you probably really had a comparison that many of us don't as far as how you cared for, and obviously you did care for the people you were caring for, but how different it was to be doing that for your mom.

It's very different when you're taking care of a parent or a grandparent than actually going out to do, I call it God's work, inside someone else's home.

Well, and I tell family caregivers, too, that I think there's a benefit of having paid caregivers help you because they don't have any of the baggage or relationship stuff.

Even if it's not bad relationship stuff, there's still things that we see them differently than someone who just walked in the door and met them for the first time.

The emotional side of caregiving can be really challenging if you're not aware of it.

Just your own grief, that anticipatory grief, just all of those different pieces of it And so I think the balance of having paid caregivers with family caregivers can give you really good care because sometimes those paid caregivers can just say and do things that you wouldn't do as a daughter.

Yeah, that is very true.

There's a lot of different family dynamics when you're a CNA than when you go into someone else's home that you do have to understand.

And it may not be what you believe, but it's what they believe.

Right.

Right.

So, yeah.

And as far as the emotional side of things go, yeah, sometimes you have to learn how to...

The word I really want to use is disconnect, but that's...

In some instances, that's good.

In some instances, that's not good.

But I did get connected to the families.

And sometimes these families, I mean, there's just times where sometimes the families will stay in touch with you for long after you've stopped taking care of a family member because you do.

Sometimes it's hard not to get connected.

Sometimes it's very hard.

And then there's also other times where you need to disconnect.