Ep 2: Minaa B.'s Biggest Disappointment Changed How She Defines Success

My dearest friend! **We’re back with episode 2 of A Little Thing That Helps!** Want the small tools, rituals, and mindset shifts that have helped people who “made it,” actually make it? Subscribe now so you don’t miss an episode of **A Little Thing That Helps!** In this week’s episode, I spoke with Minaa B. Minaa is a therapist, author, and mental health educator whose work has been featured in *Oprah Daily, Cosmopolitan*, and *Essence Magazine.* She also has her own Substack, All the Hard Things, which I **highly recommend** (fair warning: she will call you out in the best possible way). I look at Minaa and I see someone who has unambiguously made it (and by the way, she’s one of 13 kids. How insane is that???) What I didn’t know until we sat down together was what it actually cost her to get here. You can watch it above, or listen to the podcast version wherever you get your podcasts! **I’ve been thinking about the lessons she shared all week, and I KNOW these tips will help you, too.** **The Little Things That Helped Minaa** 1\. Don’t Isolate. Find Your People! When Minaa’s first book, Owning Our Struggles, came out, she was caregiving for her mother during the exact window she needed to be pushing pre-orders. When the book didn’t hit the best-seller lists she’d hoped for, she started beating herself up. What shifted her wasn’t a solo mindset exercise; it was her people. “I had a wonderful community of friends who are also fellow authors who understood where I was coming from, but also friends who were there with me before any of this, who literally saw me while I was working a full-time job, watched me get through grad school, and saw all of my dreams come true.” The people who had witnessed the whole journey, not just the public-facing part, were the ones who could actually remind her of how far she’d come. My instinct when something goes wrong is to go quiet and figure it out alone. Minaa’s lesson: go TOWARD your people instead. 2\. Remember the Ends, Not the Means Minaa came into publishing with one idea of what success looked like: the list. *New York Times, USA Today, Wall Street Journa*l! If the book didn’t make a list, it didn’t fully count. I cannot throw stones. Buy Yourself the F\cking Lilies* didn’t make any list its first week. I know EXACTLY what she is talking about. What she eventually realized is that she had confused the means for the ends. The list was never the actual goal. The actual goal was to reach people. “I realized that is what the true accolade is. That is what the reward is, for people to actually find value in the book and to say, Minaa, I picked this book up and I learned so much from you. And I realized that was more meaningful to me than just the stamp of approval by hitting a bestseller list.” Three years later, people are still DMing her to say they bought it for a friend, a family member, a client. THAT was always the destination. The list was just a door she thought she had to walk through to get there. 3\. Build a Practice That Forces You to Be Present When I asked Minaa what she enjoys in her life right now, she told me she walks her dog every morning for 30 minutes without headphones, a podcast, or phone calls. “I think sometimes our problems cause us to go inward, and we don’t really pay attention to how life is literally just surrounding us, but sometimes passing us by.” **What I love is that it’s not some big, expensive, fancy thing.** It’s just an intentional moment every day where she’s fully present. And honestly, a lot of my days just blur together, and I don’t even remember what happened - that’s not really an enjoyable way to live. So Minaa’s third tool is one I’m taking to heart: **can I have one intentional moment every day where I’m present?** It could be journaling, it could be exercise, but it could also be as simple as walking down the street without my earbuds in and smiling at people. Thank you so much, Minaa, for joining me and for being so generous with your story. You can find Minaa at her Substack All the Hard Things, on Instagram, and her podcast This Feels Familiar is available wherever you listen. I want to hear from you: **Have you ever gotten so fixated on a specific version of success that you lost sight of why you wanted it in the first place?** What helped you come back to the actual goal? I’d love to know! I read and reply to every comment, y’all! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taraschuster.substack.com/subscribe