Vicodin

What are you getting? Same things, Vic-

Um, I'm just getting Vicodins.

Okay.

Yep.

So I'm getting Vicodins.

Every once in a while, like, these circle Percocets.

Once in a while, the yellow Norcos.

Um, but so I'm getting the pain pills, and I'm working the overnight thing, and this is going on for a c- few months now.

A lot of MDMA and ecstasy and shit like that.

And mushrooms and acid and cocaine and alcohol and marijuana and fucking Xannies and Alpers and Downers, Vicodins, fucking Seroquils, all of it.

good old days remember remember those days or is everybody straight edge you weren't there you didn't have a fucking drug problem you didn't have trauma growing up no I'm playing um but after that October 16th the following Tuesday oh shit October 20th pain of truth 100 demons killing pace and shattered realm all at the magic stick on a weeknight like fucking hardcore used to be I hope to make it I'm sure I'll be there Then Friday, November 6th.

Got a little fucking couple week break there.

So I started to really feel the uselessness and then the, not just the depression, but just that, like, why are you here? What are you doing? What is your purpose? So then I decided to take my life that day.

And so I took a bunch, I don't even know what kind of pills, they were like codeines and Vicodins.

And my girlfriend had caught me and took me to the emergency room, called my parents, the whole thing.

And by the time I came out, my ex-husband wanted a divorce because he was scared of my father.

Like all of us wrestlers did.

Somas, Vicodins, Placidyls, Percocets, Halcions.

We were taking that shit like vitamins, right? And, uh, I got off of that, and it seems like mushrooms and edibles, they give you that pain pill high.

Right.

... how did that, how did that-

So, um, because I was, uh, you know, I grew up in the streets, uh, you know, I always dabbled in, in, you know, drinking beer and, and taking Vicodins and drinking a beer with a Vicodin and-

Mm

... smoking a cigarette, and this was all bad stuff 'cause I, you know, again, I was really raised super religious.

Um, but, um, I found out...

So Vicodins were like this big old chunky pill, right?

Mm-hmm.

Well, one day my buddy came over, and he had this little itty bitty pill, and he's like, "Here, try this." So I tried the pill, and it was stronger than me taking four or five Vicodins, and it blew my mind that that little bitty pill packed that much punch.

Okay.

So that starts a little bit of my, during that time, you know, the 105 Vicodins just didn't last as much, and then we, we live near Lake Erie, too.

Wait, time out.

Didn't last as much, 'cause I'm not someone who's ever...

Got to the bus.

Took Vicodins that night and the next night we were in Jersey at this fucking casino.

I remember it.

We still like, I've seen the venue and I remember the dumpster.

I remember the mist.

I remember the time of night, everything.

I took the 50 Vicodins and I dumped them in the trash can in the dumpster.

And I went on the bus and I told the guys, I'm an alcoholic.

We're talking about like you don't see the forest for the trees sometimes when you're in something.

We were-- I was in narcotics at the height of the OxyContin, uh, wave, and so everyone that we were arresting in this area, most part, not everyone, but majority people we arrested were buying Percocets and Xanax and Vicodins.

We call them sticks.

They were all pills.

Just

popping Vicodins and then puking them up and then popping them again.

Well, apparently it got so bad, he was...

I don't want to get too into this, but he was going through his own... remnants, his waste, if you will, to try to retrieve the pills.