Trauma and Recovery

And so I have to hide my own feelings and even hide my own physical needs.

There was, did I save the part in the book? Judith Herman's book, Trauma and Recovery.

There's a part where she talks about In ordinary human responses to danger, it's complex integrated systems of reactions encompassing both body and mind.

So that long after the event, when we live in this fight or flight, that threat concentrates a person's attention on the immediate situation.

Because that's what we equate it to with a narcissistic parent, that they are uncaring, which they are.

And there is a truth when we're talking about narcissism, that narcissism is considering yourself.

On one of the podcasts, I talked about this with Ruth and I wrote about it in the book that I co-wrote, You're Not the Problem.

And one of the reasons that myself and Helen put it in that it was important to talk about what was the healthy narcissistic traits, because most people know when we talk about narcissism, it is in the context that we are talking about NPD and how harmful narcissistic behaviors are.

Um, in terms of a psychology, a book that I really like is from one of my teachers, um, Judith Herman.

It's called Trauma and Recovery, and she was very, she is a very instrumental woman in understanding trauma.

Um-

That's the book you gave me.

Like, Judith Herman talks about this.

She says in, in "Trauma and Recovery," she says, "These women were treated frankly with contempt." And that's true.

And it's still true a lot of the time in a lot of places because people don't understand.

It's like compounded medical trauma 'cause they've already been traumatized and this is-

There was a book written back in 1992 on trauma recovery.

In fact, it's literally called Trauma and Recovery from Judith Herman.

She laid out three stages that every trauma clinician pretty much has built on since 1992.

Stage one, safety.

She trains her therapists to start with sensation and movement and let meaning come from there instead of starting with the story and hoping the body will follow.

Her work follows a lot of what Judith Herman wrote about in "Trauma and Recovery," and Judith wrote that recovery happens in relationship and can't happen in isolation.

And I think that that's really true of the body too.

If your body learned to brace around other people, it will learn that in relationship with safe people.