Timothy L. Brooks

Jason and Lacey Carney weren't wearing straw hats, chewing straw, or carrying milk pails when they appeared in court since they spent all the loot they raised on more important purchases such as vacations, cars, a boat, a motorcycle, personal loans, and plastic surgery for the missus, which might have been one of the rare instances in human history where someone paid for cosmetic surgery to make them look uglier.

In light of the nature of the scam, the Carnies might have been fortunate to have been in a courtroom where decorum was required since Judge Timothy Brooks delivered the sentence with the editorial comments that resembled the verbal equivalent of a baseball bat or a Singapore cane.

Brooks would read their resumes, including that Jason was estranged to the truth and might as well have said Lacey was a virgin to it.

By the time Brooks ran out of breath, Jason was booked for a 16-year stay at Club Fed without passing go or collecting $250, while Lacey had to settle for a three-year sabbatical, with Brooks apologizing since it was the maximum he could legally order.

Uh, a- as we're coming on the air, uh, I, I can give you-- It was the husband and wife team that was the, uh, founders of this nonprofit, Second Milk.

Uh, the wife, Lacey Carney, uh, has now been sentenced by the, uh, federal judge up there, uh, Judge Timothy Brooks, uh, for her account.

Uh, now, I, I'll break this down for you.

Uh, her husband, Jason, and, and her pleaded guilty in June, uh, to the charges of impropriety, uh, that they had in running this, uh- nonprofit, and, uh, it was a little over, ladies and gentlemen, $2.

And then after she completes her three years in the federal pen, she's going to be required to be supervised, uh, or release, uh, a parole for one year.

Now, as far as, uh, her husband, uh, Jason Carney, I, I can tell you what he pleaded guilty to and what the prosecutors are asking for.

But, uh, a-as of, uh, the last time I checked the press releases and everything else, uh, we still have not, uh, got any information on what, uh, U.S. District Judge Timothy Brooks has done with, uh, her husband.

But Jason Carney pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, two counts of filing a false tax return, and, uh, one count of structuring.

Nock was also found guilty of laundering his ill-gotten gains, but he claimed to have found hundreds of hours of telephone recordings that may have included some notes from Epstein's mother that he never brought to trial.

Nock protested he didn't realize the recordings existed even though he recorded them himself and had his son transcribe them, in effect telling U.S. District Judge Timothy Brooks that the dog ate his homework.

The excuse worked about as well as one could guess, as Judge Brooks wrote his decision informing Nock that he could continue pounding rocks at Club Fed.

Our Benton County Extension report takes us to the Benton County Fair this week.