Tillsonburg

That's a heck of a start.

Okay, Mike from Tillsonburg, Ontario.

"Hello, gentlemen.

Just had a question about goalie masks.

Sure.

It's called Honeysuckle, and it's a family-owned little, uh, coffee shop here in Tillsonburg, and, uh, they're incredible people, do incredible things in our community.

So we're very thankful that, uh, we can share some of our kindness with them.

I love that.

Is Tillsonburg in Canada?

Yes, in Ontario.

Ontario, Canada, okay.

Everyone seemed to accept it as just a bad shared nightmare.

I was the only one who always wondered, what really happened? Was I asleep? What was that thing outside my window? I live in rural southwestern Ontario in a town called Tillsonburg in the heart of the tobacco belt.

I was born and raised in Norfolk County and have since lived all over the province, and my sleepy little corner of the woods is without a shadow of a doubt as bizarre as it is isolated.

It isn't isolated in a physical sense, more so in the sense that it has always and will always be rural farmland peppered with Carolinian forests, small towns, and the kind of self-hatred you can only find out in the country or in small towns nobody ever escapes.

This contest is scheduled for one fall and will be contested under extreme backyard rules.

Introducing, from Tillsonburg, Ontario, weighing in at 98 pounds, The Wiz.

[laughs]

The Wiz.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Is that the thing?

Introducing his opponent, also from Tillsonburg, Ontario, weighing in at-

[laughs]