The will to change

I don't think I have any, like, men listening to the fucking podcast.

But if you have a man in your life who you want to, I don't know, I don't wanna say become more caring about this because men should fucking care about this, but perhaps better understand how systems and structures of the patriarchy also harm men, I would recommend people to read the book called The Will to Change by bell hooks.

Now, this book is specifically focused on men and masculinity and love, but it's great for anyone to read, and it's talking about how these same systems that oppress and harm women are also oppressing men.

bell hooks focuses on the fact that when men are socialized at a young age, the only emotion that they are allowed to express is anger, is rage, is violence.

I know this is a heavy topic but it's something that truly hasn't left my mind ever since I learned about it a few days ago.

So I hope you guys are taking care.

You know, the two books I mentioned are The Will to Change by Bell Hooks, also Missoula is a great book and I also wanna read the book Know My Name by Chanel Miller who was assaulted by Brock Turner.

I've heard it's a really good memoir to read.

We, we talk about that.

But when I, when I was listening to The Will to Change, the book by bell hooks, in which she delves into the ideas of how patriarchy hurts men, one of the things that she talks about in this book, and this is a r- this is a really important concept for me too, is that both men and women are hurt by patriarchy, and as such, we are really allies on this journey together.

And she talks about how many of the prominent feminists in feminist movement have been very angry at men.

They've been very anti-men.

I will.

And before you give me too much credit, I have to tell you that it's bell hooks that blew my mind.

Her book, The Will to Change, and it's the second to last chapter, and it's called something like, uh, Helping Men Regain Their Integrity.

And here's what she talks about.

Our third co-editor, Lindsey Manton, who isn't able to be with us tonight but was obviously a very essential part of making this work what it is.

And I will just also say, for those of you who are here tonight, I know that you have all purchased a book to, and that all of the royalties go to the playwrights.

Those of you at home, get your books.

All the royalties go to the playwrights.

[laughs] And now here is Liana to talk about the origins of this work.

If you're anything like me, you're either nervous or very sweaty because of the weather, so I invite us all to take a deep breath and be present together.

[inhales] Ah.

Part of what I love about this book is that this book exists because of, in, in part because of one crazy fan from the first book, which is that our editor, who is in the UK, Dom, was at a ac- like a literary academic conference, and someone somehow recognized him as the person who, who had helped publish book one and came up to him at the conference and cornered him and was like, "Listen, this book completely changed my life and the life of my students.

... yeah, you know what I'm saying? And it was a title of a book of a, of a writer, uh, can't, can't have her name, uh, right now, but, uh, and it, you know, we talked about the master, you know, I read the book, very short and very kind of on point.

Um, and I started thinking about how do you go from there? How do you, what do you put, put forward, um, and who's the master? You know? And when you, when you read the, The Will to Change, um...

I forgot her name either also.

I think it's Andrea Lorde.

So I will just go ahead because it's already been teed up.

It's The Will to Change, Bell Hooks.

Have you read that one?

No.

Women can be part of the problem of creating like this toxic male culture.

in that and this is not me trying to like gaslight women into whatever but because women have certain expectations built by society of what men should be when men you know come to us with softness sometimes we don't want that sometimes it's a little scary it's like when you're a kid and you see your mom cry and you're like if the strongest person i know is breaking down then what is this world even and it depends on you know what you want from your man i personally i love a man who cries oh my god But women can also be rejecting of that sort of setting that a man can turn on or can be rejecting of that mode.

Anyway, The Will to Change, bell hooks.

It's a really, really amazing book.

of these people's lives.

I love The Will to Change by Bell Hooks, Communion by Bell Hooks.

The epigraph in this novel is pulled from Communion, actually.

It's a quote from Cher Haidt.