The News Quiz

Let's go.

It's the News Quiz.

You had to write a story about me and Mark Lawrenson and cheese.

And you had to incorporate all those items and be roughly two minutes long.

Russell Howard and John Richardson podcast.

Six Music.

So, it's time for the news quiz.

We haven't got our news quiz jingle, have we? We're sorting one out.

That's good enough for me.

Welcome to the News Quiz.

[upbeat music] [audience cheering] [audience applauding] Hello, um, I'm Andy Zaltzman.

This week we are recording here in Venice.

Well, that means our winners this week are Zoe and Hugo.

[cheering] [clapping]

Thank you for listening to the News Quiz.

Goodbye.

Um-

News Quiz.

News Quiz.

I lost again.

How? It's-

Yeah.

Me doing my sort of lyrics, and you exploring them through mime.

That was one of the suggestions for the forfeit for the news quiz, that the loser has to wear a catsuit with a tail and a mask.

And now I seem incredibly rude if I've never noticed it.

But, but, but just, I enjoyed, enjoyed your contribution to Radio 4's News Quiz, and I'm like, "Yeah, all right, whatever."

But it must be because-

Leaning out of a white van to say, "Oh, I heard you, uh, on the News Quiz."

Yeah.

"I thought it was a very obse-witty observation about Andy Burnham." [laughing]

Hi, I'm Andy Zaltzman.

Welcome to the new series of The News Quiz.

It's September, so the transfer window has now slammed shut without me getting my dream move to present Farming Today or Real Housewives of Tunbridge Wells.

[laughing]

A spokesperson said, "The last thing this country needs right now is to spend its weekends being reminded of things going downhill fast."

[laughing]

Uh, thank you for listening to the News Quiz.

Goodbye.

Good to be back.

Um- I was the in-house comedy writer, wrote on the News Quiz, Dead Ringers, things like that.

I'll be on the News Quiz next week-

Very good

...

Kind regards, Bobby from Rugby.

I [laughs] I listen, I, I listen to the News Quiz on Radio 4, which makes me incandescent with rage.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I, I, I, I can't.

Special times.

Um, we've also got the, the, the big quiz on radio, Russell Howard's News Quiz.

New developments on the quiz this week.

Yeah.

4-nil down you are.

Yeah.

Uh, if you haven't listened to the show before, basically I do a news quiz where I have questions whether they're true or false.

Last week I asked whether or not Mariah Carey dreamt of butterflies.