The Invisible Gorilla

And so when we conflate them and then imagine that improving communication should therefore prevent and repair misunderstanding, overlooking that they are not the same thing.

And so this book really tries to dig into what is understanding and how can we use communication as a set of tools in the service of understanding.

That was Yael Shomron, and this is Mentally Flexible.

[upbeat music] Welcome to Mentally Flexible, where we have meaningful conversations to help you build mental flexibility.

She is the co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast and author of Work Parent Thrive, which we talked about the last time she was on the podcast.

Her work draws on relationship science, acceptance and commitment therapy, and clinical research to help people navigate relationships, parenting, and the competing demands of modern life.

Her newest book, Why Don't You Understand Me?, explores the science of human connection and why we so often misunderstand one another.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include the ending of Psychologists Off the Clock after 10 years, why being a good communicator doesn't necessarily mean we understand one another, uh, why we often overestimate how well we understand people closest to us, how attention and confirmation bias contribute to misunderstandings, the relational lenses we develop through our experiences and personal histories, the importance of intellectual humility, and what an octopus can teach us about connection.

Uh, let's get back to our episode.

Paul, you want to describe the invisible gorilla study?

Oh, invisible gorilla study is great.

Um-

Yeah

Mm.

[laughs] There, there.

There was a quick thing I wanted to say about the, what the invisible gorilla study linked to the memory stuff that we were talking about with Loftus.