The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

Love Judy as well.

So now for a Four Tendencies tip, and we had put out a call to rebels.

In the Four Tendencies framework, the rebel is the smallest tendency.

It's the one that the fewest number of people belong to.

It's also the more, most different from the other three tendencies, upholder, questioner, and obliger.

People don't understand why they're acting the way they do.

So it's really helpful, and I think it's really helpful to hear from rebels what works for rebels.

And again, if you don't know what we're talking about, you can take the quiz and get a report and learn all about the Four Tendencies if you go to my website.

Oh, go ahead.

I was just gonna say, have you looked at, have you read the book, um, Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin?

No, but I love a good book rec.

I, I think you'd, I think you'd like it.

So there's four tendencies on, and it, and it's how you respond to internal and external expectations.

Mm.

And one of them is a rebel.

Mark Manson was here, which was like just such a, a like cool moment for me because, uh, Mark Manson, who's the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, uh, and, and many other things and is a prolific like YouTuber and social media personality and everything else, is just like, he was just so cool to meet in person.

Gretchen Rubin was here, uh, obviously the author of The Happiness Project, Four Tendencies, so many different books and has an incredible podcast.

And I, I, I got to actually tell Gretchen that she was such a big part of my story of leaving the law and starting my own business when I read The Happiness Project, and I distinctively remember being on a plane and reading The Happiness Project on the plane and just being like, "I gotta get out of here.

I have to change my life.

Yes, I'm a firm believer in the big three for the day.

And what's interesting about this concept of expectations on ourselves and others, a free resource is the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.

I don't know if you've done that assessment.

It's an easy one to take.

So let me quickly break down the four different tendencies for you.

You might immediately identify which one you are, but I'll also link to the free quiz by Gretchen Rubin, the free four tendencies quiz.

It's a really, really simple quiz, very straightforward, and you can identify which of the four tendencies you are.

And I will also link to some podcast episodes that she prepared, which introduces each of the four styles.

So just a reminder of some things for you to do.

Download your accountability tracker.

Do the four tendencies quiz and listen to the episode about your tendency or all of them if you're interested.

And if you want to learn about your values, listen to the values led careers episode from my archives and download the values identification and assessment resource from that episode's show notes.

Let's get into today's episode.

Hey friends, today I'm gonna share with you some learnings from a book I recently read called The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.

And this book talks about all the research behind the different types of people and their relationship with expectations.

And so if you've ever noticed yourself or others, like for some people are like, here's the deadline, do this by this time.

So What does all this mean? And so social scientist Gretchen Rubin did a bunch of research.

I just finished reading the book.

And so what I want to do today is I want to share with you what are the four tendencies? What does this mean for you as an entrepreneur based on whatever your tendency is? And then how does this impact our coaching programs and the fact that we might have coaching clients that are all that all have different relationships with expectations and accountability? Now, what I'm going to do is in this episode, in the show notes or description or whatnot, I'm going to actually put a link to Gretchen Rubin's website where you can do an assessment to see which one of the four tendencies you are.

And this will help make this make a lot of sense.

Yeah.

In my four tendencies framework, many of the people who would express something like that are rebels.

They resist both outer and inner expectations.

They resist the work deadline and they also resist like their own New Year's resolution.

Well, this is a huge question.

This is a great question, Gretchen.

Well, it's a huge question because it raises a question that really extends beyond the four tendencies in general, which is if you're imitating the injustices and inefficiencies and inanities of the world at home, does that better prepare people to go out into the world? And deal with those things.

And I think my view is that no, that it's better to set them up as much as you can for success at home.

Yeah, exactly.

And then Gretchen Rubin has a great book, The Four Tendencies.

Have you read that? I don't think so.

She's one of my favorite authors because she just chooses to nerd out on something she likes and write a book about it.

All right, Gretch, what is our spotlight on a tool this week?

Okay, so this is about my four tendencies framework.

Maybe you have found yourself arguing with your sweetheart or a member of your family about household chores, say.

That is the kind of thing that my four tendencies framework will help you figure out how to negotiate more effectively.

I recently wrote an article with 13 strategies for dealing with shared work because that is so often a source of conflict.

And that includes how to approach chores differently if you are dealing with an upholder, a questioner, a bludger, a rebel.

I have a newly expanded Four Tendencies section on my site.

You can find the article there.