The Dirk Diggler Story

I

think Nick Cage as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights would be great.

I'm a star.

I'm a big bright shining star.

Mardoon.

I usually go as Dirk Diggler, but it may be uncomfortable with who I sit next to in the press box.

With that thing just hanging out? It's like,

whoa.

Yeah, we are here.

But you know that I did win back in the days when I was living in Lincoln.

I did go as Dirk Diggler and won a contest at a local bar.

I was chilly that night.

I'll put an alias.

Dirk Diggler or something.

Dirk Dickler.

Dirk Ferguson.

I'm done.

At this point, he's like Dirk Diggler in the parking lot at the end of Boogie Nights.

If you know what Dirk Diggler was doing, um, roughing up somebody else's suspect, if you will, in, in, in a car for a few bucks.

That's like Dirk Diggler at the end of Boogie Nights.

I don't use that comparison too often, but that's what that is right there.

Um, Mike Lawler, who I'm a big fan of, he is, um, he won by one point in a district that Kamala won by, like, a point or something like that, uh, in New York s- uh, State.

Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.

[upbeat rock music] Can you imagine him doing that in a recording booth with the headphones like Dirk Diggler? The bir- the Birthday Party car, the, fucking, The Birthday Party became banned non grata at quite a few London venues 'cause they had, you know, that junkie reputation, and they had a major tendency to fight with the audience and each other.

Nick Cave couldn't stand Echo & the Bunnymen for some reason.

He said all the, all the, those bands like that were boring shoegazers.

Buckaroo Banzai, yeah.

I also think, I think it was when in Boogie Nights when Amber Waves is making the documentary about, uh, Dirk Diggler, and he's, like, looking off into the distance.

He's just looking at those aqueducts.

[laughs] Okay.

KB, buddy.

There's no gonna be like Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights in the pickup truck.

Yeah.

"Come on, faster.

Mm-hmm.

We talked about Dirk Diggler and The Touch-

That's right

... a little bit.

... uh, Mark Wahlberg singing it, and I found the original 30-minute, uh-

Oh

... it's called The Dirk Diggler Story.

Dirk story, yeah.

Ozzy? Dirk Ziegler?

Did you say Dirt Diggler?

Dirt Diggler.

Pay attention.

One of my top five movies, Boogie

Nights.

Court Ziggler.

Jenna loves Dirt Diggler, too.