You think? [laughs]

[laughs] Time to really be nourished by the Lord and receive what I needed for the day.

And so there was kind of a shift in that time in that the Lord said, "I'm gonna be with you all the time, and I want you just to keep bringing your attention back to my presence throughout the day," whether it was having praise music on occasionally or just kind of looking up from doing dishes.

And a monk from [laughs] the 16th century became a companion.

His name was Brother Lawrence, and he wrote a book called Practicing the Presence of God.

And it helped me to shift from those long, quiet times, which are so nourishing, to how can I become attentive to the fact that God is present with me all the time, and that His nourishment is always available.

All I need to do is kind of raise my hand or my heart or my eyes and say, "I need more of you," or, or, "Thank you that you are here." So that shift was a really big deal in my life.

Yes.

I'd like to know more of your story when you first recognized that there was maybe some kind of internal disconnect going on

Yeah, so I have always struggled with bonding or people pleasing.

So that has been at the heart of a lot of my anxiety, a fear of rejection.

And this is something that was really interesting to me.

So I'm going to tell a story that I don't think I've ever told before to anyone else except my sister.

But this is...

What came up for me about a year ago, my mom and I were teaching at a Christian Medical and Dental Society meeting and we were attending some other things because we have a lot of friends that are a part of it.

So what are you talking about when you're talking about this attunement attachment? Yeah,

So can you talk about that time? You pack up the U-Haul, you drive from Maine to Ohio, and you end up in a community where everyone already has a community.

Yeah, that's such a good word, [laughs] isn't it? Because when we move to an area, like say during college, no one has community yet, and so it's easy to make friends.

It's easy to kind of jump into relationship.

But when you're moving into an area, like you said, where s- there's lots of families who are super connected and it's hard to jump into those commu- communities.

So, uh, I think it goes back a little bit further.

That was the trigger event, um, but it goes back further.

I was born, uh, in Italy when my dad was going to medical school, and my mom had to go back to teach right away.

Yeah.