[laughs]

Hollywood just made, a- and, and in this case it's not Hollywood, it was the media.

The media made what we were doing in 2001, 2002, 2003, made it look so easy.

And of course, uh, obviously, uh, the world was taken so, so much by surprise, and everybody was just in awe of what tac-Ps were doing that ev- that it became the sexy thing and everybody could see that there was gonna be just money thrown, buckets of money thrown at, uh, at this tac-P thing.

And so of course everybody wanted a piece of it.

And there was this impression, this deep-seated impression that all it really took was, um, you know, just keying the mic and saying, "Clear to hot," and, um, and there you go.

Uh, and, and, a- again, at, you know, Ethan Brown is not paying me royalties to plug his book, but-

You're gonna

Find it wherever books are sold.

Uh, I-- The way you just described the story around, where did that come from? You know, like when we're having this interaction between us as spouses and you're like, "Where did that come from?" Or it comes from somebody else.

I, I think that where did you come from, how is that asked? Again, how is that question asked? What's the posture of the wondering? Is it w- a tone of accusation or blame, or is it a, again, a tone of wondering, a tone of curiosity? And I think if we hope for nothing else, that really is it, is inviting couples to be aware of the posture in which they ask that question.

And so of course, there's a protective response of, "What are you going to do with what I reveal to you? What are you going to do with what I share with you?"

Mm-hmm.

It does create intimacy.

But fear says don't.

Fear says don't expose, uh, don't reveal.