Yes.

I used to be, and I still, I'm a recovering, you know, high performance person, type A, control freak, very, very controlling, very self-sufficient.

God is teaching me all sorts of things.

And really just this idea that He loves us.

You know, As Christians, we can all say that God loves us because the Bible tells us so, right? But do we really believe it? Do we really understand what it means? That was the question I started asking for myself because most of the time I would look at myself and I would not like myself a whole lot.

And I knew that God knew me way better than I know myself.

So if with the little that I see, I don't like myself, how much more? I mean, there's absolutely no way God could like me, right? He loves me because he kind of has to, he promises to in scripture, but does he actually like me? There's a big difference there.

How can delight and suffering coexist?

Yeah.

such a good question i think i'd have to go back quite a long time ago so i grew up atheist in france with no desire for god no longing no missing peace in my heart i had no awareness of missing something but i came to the us as a foreign exchange student when i was 17 years old and did my senior year in the us as a as a student and lo and behold it just so happens quote unquote that the american family that was hosting me were christians and by that i really mean christ followers they were really on fire for god i mean jesus was the foundation of their life of their marriage of their parenting and so that was very intriguing to me because i came from a very dysfunctional family and so i got to experience a whole other world that I had no idea existed where this couple had three young children at the time, a one year old, a four year old and a six year old.

And so they didn't take me on as an au pair or anything.

I was just an addition to their family.

And they really felt the Lord had been calling them to to do that.

And so for a year I got to live with them and I got to see the real life.

I got to see them loving on their children and loving on each other.

But how does realizing that, first of all, God delights in me and learning to delight in him, how would you say, Stephanie, that that quiet, some of that anxiety that is so natural for moms?

You've been on the show before, but for those who don't know you, you run this ministry called Gospel Spice, which at first blush might be like, what does that mean, spice? spice like what so can you just kind of like explain like okay what does gospel spice mean like what are you trying to say there and does this connect to delight oh such a

good question and you have no idea how many people do ask me what this means because I often get stuff about is it a cookbook no it's not or is it related to you know sex no it's not I get those a lot What it is, is honestly, is I love good food.

And what I realized is that when we want to taste and see that the Lord is good, that's, you know, it's almost a command in scripture, taste and see, it's an invitation at the very least.

What does that look like? And oftentimes we have grown so familiar with scripture, with the message of the gospel, because we are immersed in it, because we read our Bible, because we go to church, because we have Christian friends that we have really kind of forgotten how spicy the gospel is in the sense of how...

relevant and how it's going to shake our spiritual taste buds.

It's the last, the furthest thing from boring or tasteless.

And oftentimes I find myself with a faith that feels a little stale and boring and tasteless and flavorless.

Like, I mean, do you see that? I mean, is that part of why you wrote a book on this?

And so I think that can play into subconsciously how

we expect God to show up.

And I think what you're saying, part of it is having the self-awareness to realize that, that the reasons why I struggle with this is because of this particular wound.

And so for me, yes, definitely major father issues.

I don't really talk about it directly in the book, but very indirectly I talk about a loved one and it was my father.

You know, just who was extremely harsh, always moving the goalposts of performance and achievement.

And it didn't matter how much I would achieve.

And what does that verse mean to you?

How do you make the journey from France to the U.S.? And how do you make the journey from unbelief to Christian faith?

Thanks for asking.

Well, you know, I think everyone has a unique story.

And I have come to the conclusion from an atheist background that God really writes our stories.

And he's a very creative writer and author.

And he writes each story separately and individually.

uniquely.

Where did this book idea come from? And what was it like bringing it into the world?

Ooh

... or vanilla extract, because it's usually very loaded in chemicals and toxic things.

It's not good for our bodies.

And so I'd rather favor a lot ...

It's a bit of a less is more approach, and so I'd rather have very high grade vanilla paste, which is a lot more expensive to purchase, but it will last a whole lot longer, so you actually end up saving money even by using good quality vanilla, 'cause you use less.

And it's, I do like to sprinkle a little bit of e- of it on everything, and that reminds me, just like you said, that God isn't an experience just for our minds, but it's also for our everyday moments.

And so it's like delighting God.

How can that reshape even how we approach our relationship with him, our identity? How we see ourselves even when we're in those dark moments?