So in a positive way, in the dating context, how can you use the same process in a positive way? How does the same process show up? And what would you tell someone who wants to stay present and curious as they approach the date instead of performing or scanning for rejection or failure in the moment?

Right.

So I tell my clients two things.

The first thing is we need to reduce the stuff that you're doing in your mind that's not healthy for you.

And the common, most typical things my clients do, and I think this applies to most of us when we go out and date and we feel uncomfortable.

uncertain and maybe disappointed already from past relationships, we then go in and worry about what's going to happen.

What if this is not the right person? It wasn't really a nice feeling that I got when we chatted.

Can you share how learning to pause or postpone the reaction without suppressing the feeling can prevent the unnecessary conflict?