Sexual desire

But some of these dating apps like Field, for example, and before then there were swinger sites, and, you know, people are just really clear about their desires, which is incredibly refreshing, frankly.

Because so often in a marriage, especially, you know, when you've gotten married and you're having kids and stuff, the last thing you're talking about is, is your sexual desire.

It's like, "Oh, how did this one do at school today? And how was work?" And kind of very monotonous, quite predictable, not very sexy.

And like you, I, you know, I had a partner.

So I mean, it just in terms of the economics, it just makes sense.

But I'm curious to know from that experience, from the field experience, especially coming from this, it sounds like quite vanilla-type marriage.

Did that give you a real insight into male sexual desire, male-- Just the way that men behave online? Like, how did it inform not just your approach, but also how you feel now?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, no, that-

But yeah, there is a, there's a whole essay about sexual desire, and, you know, here, it c- it came about because I was, uh, divorced, as I think your listeners will know now.

And at a certain point, I wanted to have sex again.

You know, it's a human need for many of us.

And in fact, it builds upon itself.

And I think this is true just if you think about your life and how sexual desire works.

You can train yourself to have a sexual response to more and more lurid or more and more dangerous.

And you can exhaust your sexual response, your desire for normalcy, and be bored of it.

That's flattering.

It's not.

The funniest thing to me is... is when men go on like twitter and say like well you know the men you know like explain in in very precise terms like their sexual interest and what they like in the wall and everything it's like nobody cares like everyone it's like a it's like roosters on the farm you know like the best i've said for a long time we have like eight acres and i have chickens and all the stuff and uh we do cattle and pigs and stuff and an unfixed male is among the most predictable and like they just you know they sometimes they defend if there's another male you know but mostly they just try to reproduce and that is the most constant and you know i love that about men like if that wasn't true then marriage would be a lot more difficult but one thing you can be sure of is that men always want to have sex and with pretty much everyone like pretty much and so the idea that like women are are putting themselves you know oh i hope i can be you know sexually attractive to the most possible let's look at what obviously when there's money involved that makes sense but for young girls who just don't even realize how market economics work and like supply and demand it is really sad like i'm i'm glad that i didn't grow up with that because it would have been confusing to me like just this pressure like you need to be sexually appealing to the most amount of like the the as many men as possible like that's crazy most people in normal times like you were you were like young life for attractive girls you're just trying to stay away you're trying to get rid of them you would get a boyfriend to fend off that you like to to like things that like it's like everything's changed now because because for whatever reason like male sexual desire dictates the marketplace so it's like well you better please us and it's like Like when in the history of the world have women have to worry so much about like what men want? We know what they want.

Anyway, it's just, it's crazy.

It will come, it will go.

For sexual desire, contemplate the parts of the body.

They go into more detailed ones.

I'll do the list first.

And the second one gets really interesting, I think.

pop that back up

so for sexual desire the antidote here is to contemplate the parts of the body you almost think well that might create more desire depends how you're focusing but they're talking about the skin you know what's underneath the skin the phlegm in the body the What is it? You start deconstructing the body.

It's not that exciting.

We've spoken of the desire for approval, for money, control, success, but often we would hear that word desire and we would connect it with lustful desire.

Sexual desire.

Sexual desire is a road to ruin.

It's also a road to fulfilment in the safe bounds of marriage, in a godly marriage under God.

But when you think of sexual desire disordered, it's a terribly ruinous thing, isn't it? Sexual desire will ruin marriages...

families people get so messed up when it's unchecked james says desire gives birth to sin after desire has conceived it gives birth to sin and then death after desire has conceived i find it intriguing that two thousand years ago people were very similar When a person is tempted sexually with desire, the temptation is not a sin in and of itself, but if you let it hang out, it becomes a sin.

You know, we are sexual beings.

So my thought is it's all about what Little Death represents.

Little Death represents pure sexual desire, so that's why, what does Little Death's face kind of look like?

His actual face or the vent?

The, the vent.

Yeah.

I didn't take the vent like that, though.

Yeah, so Little Death represents sexual desire.

So the music becoming happier-

Sexual wellness and intimacy.

Many people believe that losing sexual desire is simply a normal part of getting old, raising children, or being in a long-term relationship.

Others silently struggle with mismatched desires, emotional disconnection, or feelings of shame, wondering if something is wrong with them or their relationship.

But what if the conversation around intimacy has been missing something? Today's guest believes sexual health is about much more than sex.

That's really wonderful.

Okay, so Laurie, let's just take some few quick questions.

So what is the biggest myth about sexual desires you have heard?

I think the biggest myth that gets in the way is that sex is a need.

Everybody nervous.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a listen to Rel.

How he feels about sexual desires when it comes to men and women.

Let's take a listen.

Wow.

So this was a journal article published in Scientific Reports just recently.

And it is Associations of Sexual Desire with Demographic and Relationship Variables.

The study used data from more than 67,000 adults who participated in this big survey thing.

One of the largest studies of sexual desire ever conducted.

So they talked to people.

Well, they're talking about how we talk about sexual desire, which we just talked about.

You know, either you have a high sex drive or a low sex drive or it's something that we can fix somehow or whatever.

like a trait of some sort, but the new research is challenging that idea.