Secure attachment
79
MENTIONS
20
EPISODES
20
PODCASTS
Search complete. 79 mentions across 20 episodes found for "Secure attachment".
Sep 15, 2026
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
Thank you so much for having me back.
Eric ZimmerHOST
I'm terrible with time, so I don't know when we last talked, but it's been several years, and in the interim, you've written a new book, which is called Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, which we're gonna get into in a minute, but we'll start in the way that we always do, which is with the parable.
Eric ZimmerHOST
And in the parable, there's a grandparent who's talking with their grandchild, and they say, "In life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle.
Eric ZimmerHOST
One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear."
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
Mm-hmm
Les AlfredHOST
... was as someone who was reading it, who at that time did not have what would be considered a secure attachment style-
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
Me neither, yeah
Les AlfredHOST
... was like, the solution was, well, get into a relationship with a securely attached person.
Les AlfredHOST
Mm-hmm.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
And this is why.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
I think in the ways that attachment theory is being used, secure attachment has become a status symbol.
Les AlfredHOST
Mm-hmm.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
But what's really beneath that is how you're showing up internally, which is then affecting how you show up in your relationships.
Sarah BrenHOST
When we talk about secure attachment, we usually think about our relationships with other people.
Sarah BrenHOST
How securely attached are we to our parents or our partners? How do we help our children develop secure attachment to us? But there's another relationship underneath all of those that we don't talk about nearly enough and is arguably the most important one of all.
Sarah BrenHOST
And that is our relationship we have with ourselves.
Sarah BrenHOST
Hi, I'm Dr. Sarah Bren, a clinical psychologist, mom of two, and the host of Securely Attached.
Sarah BrenHOST
Each week, I sit down with the leading experts in psychology, neuroscience, medicine, and child development to translate complex research into practical, grounded insights that help you parent with more clarity and confidence.
Sarah BrenHOST
And today I'm joined by Dr. Marissa G. Franco, a psychologist, a New York Times bestselling author, and an expert on attachment and human connection.
Sarah BrenHOST
Her first book, Platonic, explored the science of friendship, and her newest book, Worth, the new science of self-esteem and secure attachment, takes that work one step further by looking at what it actually takes to feel secure within ourselves.
Ginny YurichHOST
I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside, and we are going to be talking about worth today, which is something that we want to obviously make sure that we have as people, and if we have kids, that we're passing it on to them.
Ginny YurichHOST
An author of a brand-new book called Wor- Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, Marissa Franco, is here.
Ginny YurichHOST
Dr. Marissa Franco, welcome.
Ginny YurichHOST
Also has an- another New York Times bestseller called Platonic.
Marissa FrancoGUEST
It is
Ginny YurichHOST
... about that in your book, Worth.
Ginny YurichHOST
"Secure attachment has become something close to a status symbol," you wrote, and now everyone's talking about this, but you say it can be easy to perform.
Marissa FrancoGUEST
Yeah.
Farnoosh TorabiHOST
I mean, I can already see the telltale signs.
Farnoosh TorabiHOST
You don't have, you didn't grow up with secure attachment.
Farnoosh TorabiHOST
Yeah.
Farnoosh TorabiHOST
That, that lack of security as an adult shows up in a multitude of ways, not just in your relationship with people, but your relationship with money.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
The thing about securely attached people is they're able to be in the present and function based off of the information that's providing to them rather than their fears.
Farnoosh TorabiHOST
And you can change, right? That's where therapy can come in and self-awareness comes in.
Farnoosh TorabiHOST
But what does the journey from any kind of other attachment style to secure attachment, what does that look like? What does that shift? What does that require?
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
Yeah.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
actually, in this book, it's funny because I wrote my first book, Platonic, on being a securely attached friend.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
I'm critical of not attachment theory, but the way that it's used in that secure attachment has become the status symbol and it feels like we all want to be secure and have to be secure and put that on our profiles and tell people how secure we are.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
And then what happens when I feel anxious? I'm like, push that away, I'm supposed to be secure.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
So now I'm presenting to you as if what I am supposed to be rather than the authenticity of what I actually am and secure attachment is being used to alienate me from myself.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
And so what I instead say is there's no hierarchy of attachment.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
It's just about where you are.
29 MINS LATER
AJ HarbingerHOST
Wonderful.
AJ HarbingerHOST
Where can our audience find out more about the book and your work?
Lisa Marie BobbyHOST
But she's back today because she has a new book that I am so excited about.
Lisa Marie BobbyHOST
It's called Worth, The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment.
Lisa Marie BobbyHOST
And Marissa, oh my gosh, I am so excited for you and the book and this conversation.
Lisa Marie BobbyHOST
I'm so happy
Marisa FrancoGUEST
just about your mom, right? Yes.
Marisa FrancoGUEST
Yeah, definitely.
Marisa FrancoGUEST
I think low self-worth and insecure attachment come from the same place.
Marisa FrancoGUEST
Yeah.
Monica PackerHOST
What if real self-worth is learning how to stay on your own side when insecurity shows up? With those questions in mind, Dr.
Monica PackerHOST
Marisa G. Franco is back on the podcast to completely reframe the way we think about self-esteem, self-love, and even secure attachment.
Monica PackerHOST
We talk about why some of our hardest patterns may be rooted in old memories, why shaming ourselves into change doesn't actually help us change, and what it looks like to become a safe place for every version of ourselves, including the messy, needy, angry, or insecure ones.
Monica PackerHOST
If you've spent years trying to fix yourself into finally feeling worthy, this conversation is going to give you a very different way forward.
Monica PackerHOST
Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a professor, speaker, friendship expert, and author of The New York Times bestselling book Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends, which is a book that we talked about in a past episode.
Monica PackerHOST
And she has an upcoming book called Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment.
Monica PackerHOST
She writes about relationships for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications.
Monica PackerHOST
She speaks at corporations, government agencies, nonprofits, universities across the country.
Danielle Bayard JacksonHOST
And that's something I really respect and admire.
Danielle Bayard JacksonHOST
So when I had her on to talk about her brand new book, which is titled Worth, the new science of self-esteem and secure attachment, I was so over the moon to be able to bring this conversation to you.
Danielle Bayard JacksonHOST
Because when it comes to self-worth, many of us are getting some things wrong about that whole topic.
Danielle Bayard JacksonHOST
And I had the opportunity to preview the book before it was released.
5 MINS LATER
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
And so what would it mean to have a definition of worth that involved welcoming everything we feel, right? So that when someone gives me constructive feedback, it doesn't pull up all of the shame that I've pushed away and make me hostile.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
And so then my self-esteem is on such shaky legs, only if everyone's seeing me positively all the time.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
So worth really was about, and this is from the secure attachment literature, attuning to your every feeling, welcoming your every feeling, treating every feeling in you like it matters, because that's treating you like you matter.
Marisa G. FrancoGUEST
Your feelings are a part of you.
Nikki IveyHOST
I'm the person that understands the environment.
BrittenyHOST
You're her secure attachment.
Nikki IveyHOST
I'm her secure attachment.
Nikki IveyHOST
I, I, her tour guide.
Nikki IveyHOST
She doesn't need to go look for that elsewhere, and she doesn't feel the need to have to handle things on her own.
10 more episodes mention Secure attachment.
Create an account to see the whole feed, search across every transcript, and follow the entities you care about.