school refusal

it is almost worse i know she'll respond welcome to robot unicorn we are so glad that you are here as always let's start the show with a question from scott

Today's discussion is on school refusal, which to be honest, in what I was going through and researching everything, putting together my lit review, it seems like most things it's linked to so many other.

Yeah, there's not one, not

one answer to school refusal.

Well, and it's so interconnected with every aspect of a child and parent's life that this is applicable to more than just school refusal and separation anxiety.

Where to begin?

Can I begin? Of course.

I wanted to talk to Scott about school refusal.

And there's, you know, again, there's numerous issues.

You know, when a child has school avoidance or school refusal issues, there are, you know, there's many issues.

I think there's something like 60,000 children don't go to school on a given day in Ireland.

And a lot of that is with good reason.

It's certainly being felt always in September, back to school time.

Can I just say, and

sorry for cutting across you, but the issue with school refusal and school avoidance is it's a hugely stigmatised area for parents and it leaves parents powerless, you know, because...

You know, it's fine if you can bring your four-year-old to the school gate, but you don't bring your 14-year-old to the school gate and hope that you can push them through.

We talk about how to actually support regulation in those first few weeks back, whether your kid is a sensory seeker or sensory sensitive, how to lower demands, build in support, and reset your own expectations.

We also get into the emotional side of school refusal, those brutal morning meltdowns, and why some kids just need a longer runway to get going again.

Plus, Laura shares her brilliant nervous system budget analogy, which I think you're going to love.

This one's for those of us starting the school year already feeling tapped out and trying to figure out how to make a re-entry just a little softer.

We're going to be back in routine.

Things are going to have a flow again.

And then they're like, Actually, there's not quite so much dysregulation and so much school refusal.

And so can you talk to us about how the holidays, just by being out of routine and all that jazz, affects the nervous systems of all humans and also specifically of our neurodivergent children?

There are some days when parenting already feels like you're running a small company with no administrative assistant.

And then we add a school refusal kind of morning where I'm trying to remember what the counselor said and the teacher said.

And I told my kid what I would do and whether I'm now late for the next three things that are on my calendar.

Exhausting.

But kind people without a shared plan can still create a really confusing morning.

And that's what this episode is about.

In the last episode, we talked about finding the ick underneath school refusal.

In this episode, we're going to take this one step further.

I'm a school psychologist, a parent, endurance athlete, and somebody who spends a lot of time sitting with families right in the exact messy middle.

And today, we are talking about school refusal.

But honestly, I want you to stay with me even if your kid walks into school every morning without a problem.

Because your kid's version of this might be, I can't spend the night at my friend's house.

underneath.

Which brings me to the question I really want parents asking.

What exactly are we refusing? Because school refusal sounds like one giant thing.

It isn't.