So here's Sarah.

You know, I feel like it's almost like an unearthing.

They've been there all along.

It's almost like I've just become more of myself.

That's the shame because the losing of the self, it's really tragic.

It is.

When you think of it.

for

And so your experience are, what are women really grieving? What's going on?

You know, I think that the biggest part for me and a lot of the women that I work with too is you're really grieving the dream.

Kind of, I think we're conditioned as little girls to, that we're going to experience, we're told a story that we're going to experience this like fairytale love.

that, you know, in heterosexual relationships, of course, like that some man is going to come and sweep you off your feet and take care of you, and you'll live happily ever after.

And, you know, life is not a fairy tale, and that's just not the way healthy relationships work either.

But we are kind of sold a bill of goods, right, in terms of So I think you're grieving kind of the happily ever after.

For me, it was grieving this idea that I had because, um, You know, I just had this vision for my life that we were going to have our children and then we were going to have grandkids and then we were going to have a vacation home and like everyone was going to come visit.

Meet your match at ZipRecruiter.

still it is harder, can still be harder for a lot of women, let alone in their own name.

Well, it can be harder because of the wage gap, right? And even though, I mean, I think about, again, my mother's generation and they were, you could go to college, but you could be a teacher, you could be a nurse.

I mean, there weren't a lot of career opportunities.

for women to make as much money as men.

And so you've got kind of a wage disparity just out of the gate, even if you chose to work from the time you were 16 to the time that you retired, even if there was steady income, even if there was progression, the earnings were still reduced based to male counterpart, their male counterparts.

And so the idea of this financial sovereignty, financial independence has only become available to the, let's say, the majority of women relatively recent times, so to speak.

And I think we mentioned the reason that this kind of came up and we're doing this podcast now is on the last one that we did together, it kind of came up that know i'm i'm working a little bit i work with women who are a little bit older than me and then i also kind of have experience with women who are coming in from their 20s 20s 30s like so a little bit younger than me and i look at my young adult daughters right and their ideas around money are so much are so different than my ideas around money are or were and I do think that we're kind of in a transition here which in a good way of um it kind of being the norm culturally that uh women earn money that they bring money um to the equation and their relationships that um they have opportunity that maybe the generation before them didn't have And I love that.

I know we can consciously think one thing, that doesn't mean that's how we feel around money or how we actually show up and respond and so i know that one of the things we want to talk about is this difference between okay consciously yeah you could say i know i'm equal i have my own money now but are you still showing up as an equal are you actually showing up that way are you yes actually feeling confident saying hey partner let me see your financial records too, or before we get married, let's both be really clear about all of our financial assets and all of our financial debt and posing the questions and not being afraid and not feeling like you're being too nosy or you're asking for too much and the ways that these subconscious beliefs can come out.

fine okay

i call it i call it i call it the faker like right the faker like you you it's in essence you know when you okay there's a genuine version of something and there's the faker version of something and for every time there's something genuine, genuine love, genuine connection, genuine empathy, like all of the things that we're looking for in a healthy relationship, right? There is the opposite of that, that looks like it, but it's really, it's a sloppy alternative, right? It's a fucking faker.

And so the genuine connection that we seek is, you know, oh, I'm in this relationship, be it a family, be it a romantic partner, be it a friendship.

And I am seen and valued and heard in this relationship as an individual.

And then, you know, we are stronger together.

I feel accepted.

I feel loved.

And then if you choose consciously to bring that into a relationship, beautiful, but that it's all about are you being honest with yourself? And are you willing to face what is coming up inside of you? Because the reality is also that if we're stuffing down, as we started to talk about before the we hit the record button, if you're stuffing down these internal sensations and emotions and experiences, then you're not going to be able to have the kind of connection you want anyway and so the aloneness might be coming from your own hiding of