nor

does it become the only or central focus of the conversation.

Frame it so that there's a little bit to discuss that's interesting and positive.

And from that initial intro to choosing a day and a time, then you give them the ability to nail it down a bit because they are your superiors.

So there needs to be a little bit of wiggle room for them with regard to their schedule and yours.

Yeah, of course.

So that's really the first step.

I have a laptop here in case I forget some of my talking points.

Do you believe that, one in four?

It doesn't come as any surprise.

Yeah, I do.

Because I have worked in the public sector, and even in the private sector, you're seeing this.

On the weekly private, I would say on the daily, multiple times, uh, publicly.

So yes, I think that with a lot of things that are, that are happening in this world, particularly with regard to what kids are seeing, what they're viewing, social media pressures, the fact that groups such as adolescent, uh, youth, men in particular, Maori, Pasifika, and youth generally are falling into these groups that are really struggling and showing up consistently, uh, you know, in our suicide statistics and all the rest of it.

Now, I think we've got a real problem, and we're not actually seeing this for what it is.

So what are, what are we talking about here? Is that bullying?

Is it-

Just really bad behavior for some parents.

I get it.

And, and we have had a number of, um, occasions that have, you know, hit the headlines with regard to parents fighting on the sideline.

I'm, I'm amazed too, or I, I don't really understand how those parents are thinking that they will have children who behave appropriately if they can't behave appropriately in situations.

And I think, in answer to your question, I do think there's a bit of vicariously living through your child kind of-

Mm

... um, uh, you know, people aggressing against e- each other and assaults and, you know, horrible things that are in the news.

Uh, is it-

Just really bad behavior for some parents.

I get it.

And, and we have had a number of, um, occasions that have, you know, hit the headlines with regard to parents fighting on the sideline.

I'm, I'm amazed too, or I, I don't really understand how those parents are thinking that they will have children who behave appropriately if they can't behave appropriately in situations.

And I think in answer to your question, I do think there's a bit of vicariously living through your child kind of-

Mm

... um, uh, you know, people aggressing against e- each other, and assaults and, you know, horrible things that are in the news.

Do you location share?

I don't.

Honestly, when your producer phoned me, I went, what are we talking about here? You know, the world and life generally, in my view, has got very complicated with regard to apps and the digital space, social media and all the rest of it.

Sometimes I would like to really dial back and just think about what we actually need and what actually benefits us positively.

So no, but would I? Yeah, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I've never been asked, and I've never asked, to be honest.

And then Ants the producer said to me that maybe I should just learn to go for two hours without needing my mum.

Have I got a problem? Without your mum.

Surely this is a very, very, very, very, very small group of children who can't do these things, surely?

Well, I mean, the numbers suggest that whilst it is a smaller group of children than a larger group of children who have those very rudimentary skills, they're still there.

So it doesn't really matter.

I mean, certainly things need to be sharpened.

But I think as parents, we all need to look at what is going on in the home and why these very rudimentary basic skills are showing up, A, in the early childhood education centres.

because it's quite obvious to these teachers and these caregivers that, you know, things are not quite right.

And then this is putting children so far behind.

What do you think is going on in the home?

Is that normal historically?

No, I don't think historically it's normal.

But certainly today, I think that people in my profession, psychologists, counsellors are hearing more and more of that.

And certainly equally alarming in this age group is the spike in suicide rates and also the over-representation and anxiety.

So, you know, there's a lot going on for men between 15 to 24.

And friendships, you know, may be part and parcel of what we are seeing with regard to social media and other pressures that occur during those years for men.

Why don't young men have friends? Look, really difficult question to unpack, but I would say that we have seen a lot of social isolation evolve due to device use.

But then what do you do with the time that you have? Do you as a parent say, you know, go and do something else? Or do you as a parent have to step in and say, let us go do something else?