Planet of the Apes

I'm glad you guys brought up, Sean Clannan, it was you who just said it a second ago, brought up the fact that when you do a remake or reimagining, what really makes it original? Let me ask you guys this thing.

Planet of the Apes is one that's had another remake.

When you first saw, whenever that was, when you first saw the original, the Charlton Heston one, what made you enjoy that one?

The absolute devastation.

Because it is kind of explained.

When you saw, okay, we'll put in the Mark Wahlberg one.

When you saw that one, even the new ones with James Franco and Andy Serkis, when you saw those, obviously you know why there's a Planet of the Apes.

So did you enjoy that one, first of all, the first one, the first one with James Franco?

I don't, I, I don't need it.

You know, Matt Reeves gave me a bunch of great Planet of the Apes, a good Cloverfield movie, and one really good standalone Batman movie.

Now, could someone step in and finish the movie for him, a la...

This is a terrible example, but the Zack Snyder, Joss Whedon thing.

That's, like, best case scenario.

I'm just talking worst case scenario.

If he doesn't come back, I think Wes Ball should step in and direct, and the reason why I think so is because he directed Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, which everyone was freaking out when Matt Reeves's, you know, Caesar movies were done and Disney decided to do a new-

Oh, yeah

I guess once in a blue moon, we'd have play rehearsal until really late sometimes, and my brother and I would have to take the F train back home to Brooklyn.

And because I loved the original Planet of the Apes movies, you know, with Charlton Heston-

Mm

...

It, it's called Bleecker Street, and we would-

Mm

... just sit there waiting for the train and go, "Hey, remember that scene in Planet of the Apes? Do you think those people are really down there?"

[laughs]

from 1969, 1970, 72, 73.

The first four Planet of the Apes movies I have watched, I could watch all of them and start the Odyssey at the same time and be done with all the Planet of the Apes.

Matt

Damon was even in one of those movies too, wasn't he? Planet of the Apes? Yeah.

I think he was.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[laughs]

W- uh, weirdly enough, he actually starred in, uh, the sequel to Planet of the Apes with Charlton Heston, and they fight each other in that movie, so that's even more fucking [laughs] funny.

You know, you got him going around, uh, with Lope, the fucking [laughs]-- getting some money, getting some game going with this little tiny horse, which is the cutest little thing ever when you see it on screen.

Then you get like the nice Pteranodon attack scene, then you got, uh...

That's hilarious.

It sounds like Planet of the Apes, right? But you're a builder, man.

You built this incredible thing in Minecraft.

You built this other company.

You have no geopolitical context whatsoever to discuss what I said.

You think what I said about the IRGC and the Iran deal that destroyed the rights of women in Iran, which I call the Planet of the Apes, uh, and the Muslim Brotherhood, which is just now being exposed as to the amount of control they have in our government here and the damage they've done to our constitutional rights.

You have no [beep] idea of any of that, Michael.

You think I said Black people look like monkeys.

Listen, I hate to be that guy, by which I mean a guy who does not understand science but insists on watching science fiction movies and jumping to wild conclusions.

But this is almost the exact plot of one of the Planet of the Apes films.

LAUGHTER It is almost the exact plot of Rise of the Planet of the Apes where they're trying to investigate.

They're trying to do tests on monkeys' brains to help cure humans of degenerative neurological disorders.

And they invent the Planet of the Apes.

What I'm saying is we are, I think, 150 years away from Charlton Heston having to use the phrase, get your paws off me, you goddamn dirty mouse.

Which I will say is not going to have quite the same ring to it.