When it comes to creating a safe space, in general, what do you think are some of the obstacles that, let's say, families are facing to create that?

Yeah.

Well, uh, I think one of the biggest ones is if you didn't grow up safe, you really might not know how to create it.

And, um, we tend to repeat what we know unless we've had a chance to have help or get out of a bad situation or be exposed to other role models that are safer.

So, so one thing is just what we've internalized in terms of safety.

Did we learn any kind of non-violent com- communication and conflict resolution skills in our own families? Or were people just in charge and we had to obey? Or did somebody, you know, know best and everybody else's point of view really didn't have a place at the table? Um, so I think that what, what I've learned about what creates safety over the years, both being a parent and a s- and a psychotherapist and being a wife and, you know, a friend, all of it, is one of the things that creates safety is deep listening and not having to impose, you know, your own point of view right away, even though you might have something very valuable to say.

Um, because I know as a child that wasn't my experience.

Phyllis, what are some of the ways that you see childhood experiences showing up in the people that you work with?