Most of this stuff hurts less than it did when I was younger, but it still felt really good to have an elder validate my experience, to say, "It's them, not you." Phil says that weird dynamic of liking cartoon Natives more than real ones goes back to this thing called settler colonialism.

This is the difference between sort of regular colonialism and that thing we call settler colonialism.

You know, regular colonialism is kind of a binary thing, right? You're gonna send me to India? Oh, I'm gonna stay British.

There's no way [laughs] that I'm gonna become India Indian, right? I'm gonna stay British.

What do I wanna do? I wanna send my kids home to Eton and to Cambridge and Oxford.

What do I wanna do? I wanna get the hell out of here and go home and retire to Northumbria, you know, and have a little estate.

Am I gonna stay here? No.

And that inescapable conundrum, it left us in an awkward place where, not unlike early Americans, Americans today are struggling with who we are.