Person

Today I want to talk about a really awkward thing that can happen at parties, networking events, bars, where you're trying to break into a group.

Has this ever happened to you as a recovering awkward person? It's happened to me many times.

And I want to tell you exactly how you can break into a group.

So this is if you're in an event with a lot of people And you're alone or you want to get into a group to have someone to talk to.

Believe me, I've tried it.

What can happen is if you try to break into a group by just.

standing in the group, you end up standing in the group is like, who is this person? Like, do we say hi? And then you're like, do I just talk to them or what? It's super awkward.

So what I want you to do instead is if you're ever trying to break into a group first is I want you to look for, wait for it, croissant feet.

really bad for everyone, men and women.

The reason why I'm watching this video is I want you to find your person.

I want you to be a person.

And so if creepiness is, I never want fear to be your blocker, right? So if a man has an interest in someone, what is the first step to flirting?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like literally don't call it on your head.

Be like, how can I make this person smile? By the way, like person, like you can also do this with friends, colleagues, right? So like start small.

So first of all, what is a red flag and how do you know to spot them?

Yeah, so a red flag can vary from something small to something much larger, but it's essentially an indication that something is not quite aligned between you and the person you are dating.

Okay, so I think that red flags are really important because typically I find that all of my students, they'll feel like an intuitive pang or a hit.

Something is not right, but they don't put a word to it.

Okay.

So I think this is actually avoidant attachment.

So I'm a formerly avoidant attached person.

I became secured through my marriage.

And he's really working against political gravity in historical terms and the specifics of his situation in life.

And so, you know, as I've said before in various times hijacking this metaphor, it's like the person who's waiting for the elevator who just keeps pressing the button.

Even though the button itself has no relationship to the arrival of the elevator, there is this pressing of the button that particularly people who are in positions where they have extraordinary power over other areas of their lives are just like frantic about the fact the elevator is not coming.

He has taken a

I just, the whole thing, and it's like barely registers.

Like, I don't know.

I know I sound like a naive person from like the 1990s or maybe the 1890s, but I just don't get it.

Well, but I mean, when you say barely registers, I know what you're saying, because it's like, you know, this is just the flood of manure.

And he's really working against political gravity in historical terms and the specifics of his situation in life.

And so, you know, as I've said before in various times hijacking this metaphor, it's like the person who's waiting for the elevator who just keeps pressing the button.

Even though the button itself has no relationship to the arrival of the elevator, there is this pressing of the button that particularly people who are in positions where they have extraordinary power over other areas of their lives are just like frantic about the fact the elevator is not coming.

He has taken a

I just, the whole thing, and it's like barely registers.

Like, I don't know.

I know I sound like a naive person from like the 1990s or maybe the 1890s, but I just don't get it.

Well, but I mean, when you say barely registers, I know what you're saying, because it's like, you know, this is just the flood of manure.

And he's really working against political gravity in historical terms and the specifics of his situation in life.

And so, you know, as I've said before in various times hijacking this metaphor, it's like the person who's waiting for the elevator who just keeps pressing the button.

Even though the button itself has no relationship to the arrival of the elevator, there is this pressing of the button that particularly people who are in positions where they have extraordinary power over other areas of their lives are just like frantic about the fact the elevator is not coming.

He has taken a

I just, the whole thing, and it's like barely registers.

Like, I don't know.

I know I sound like a naive person from like the 1990s or maybe the 1890s, but I just don't get it.

Well, but I mean, when you say barely registers, I know what you're saying, because it's like, you know, there's just the flood of manure.

You can even, on your name tag, put a conversation starter below your name.

So when I have a name tag, I often put my name, Vanessa, and then underneath I'll put "recovering awkward person," and this always starts great conversation.

Six, when you are approached or when you're in the beginnings of interaction, treat people like they're an old friend, even if you don't know them yet.

The energy you bring to an old friend is much more warm and welcoming than a stranger.