Perfectionism

but let's call it what it actually is.

Perfectionism is not about high standards.

It is fear wrapped in an armor.

It's a fear of judgment, the fear of failure, and the narrative that says, if I can just make this flawless, I will be safe from criticism.

It focuses on growth, execution, and mastery.

It asks, how can I bring the best energy and effort to these tasks today? Now contrast that with perfectionism.

Perfectionism is constrictive, anxious, and rigid.

It is obsessed with perfection and risk avoidance, and it whispers, if it's not 100% right on the first try, it's a reflection of my personal unworthiness.

thank you for tuning in to hacks and hobbies with your host junaid we're visited by our amazing guests coming from all walks of life want to learn their story their struggles and their journey on how they got to where they are today so stick around Perfectionism is the most socially acceptable way to punish yourself and call it high standards.

By the end of this episode, you'll learn how to loosen the grip of perfectionism, quiet the inner critic, and build a healthier relationship with your mind, whether you're a parent, a professional, a person of faith, or all three of them.

Now, my guest today is Beth Kipechi.

Well, I really appreciate that.

I appreciate what you're saying.

Perfectionism to me.

Like if you were to look in my room right now, based on what you see on camera is not apparent in what this room looks like, but that I want to ask you, what is, what was happening in your life or in your practice when never perfect became the message?

Ooh, great question.

It's really cool.

So do you struggle when you feel overlooked or underestimated? Do you want people to recognize what you're actually capable of? Do you keep your feelings private even when something has really affected you? Do people assume you're fine because you appear really capable? Are you harder on yourself than anybody else? When you do something well, do you acknowledge it or immediately see what you could have done better? Perfectionist.

Do you find it difficult when people expect you to conform rather than allowing you to be yourself? You probably don't love rules.

And probably the biggest question, do the people closest to you actually know when you're not fine? And that brings us to the end of the five emotional bruises.

The goal is to find freedom.

Perfectionism ties you up in knots.

Fear binds you like rubber bands around your body.

Make a lot of mistakes.

When pathology reaches a scale, the cause is systemic and not personal.

So now, what psychological mechanisms drive these alarming numbers? A pivotal survey emerged that was conducted by Knaup and Krill Strategies called the Survey on Lawyer Perfectionism and Wellbeing.

The researchers investigated the phenomenon known as the perfectionist paradox, and they established a vital distinction between two fundamentally different patterns.

First, adaptive striving.

These are all different patterns.

Perfectionist.

These are all like this.

You might have certain patterns in different areas of your life, but you see these patterns are there as mechanisms to get you to not feel certain emotion.

What are you avoiding feeling? Because every one of these patterns, by the way, is avoiding feeling a certain emotion.

People pleasers are avoiding tension.

Perfectionists are avoiding disappointment.

Self-reliant hyper-independent people are avoiding vulnerability.