So how do we like maybe it's a long answer, but the first step, how do we avoid that happening? I hope no woman gets to that situation that I was in.

So what is the first step in terms of avoiding that? I think one thing we need to understand is that the number one reason women stay in unhappy marriages is not because they don't want a divorce.

It's not because of the kids.

It's not because they're afraid of what people will say.

It's because of financial independence, right? They don't have the money to leave.

Right.

And the problem is, is that we have been conditioned to believe that a man is the provider.

So let me explain what someone like Lisa signed.

Yeah.

But how much do you actually make, and what is the potential for you to make more? Do you want to make more? What does that look like? Does that, does that happen in one year, in five years, in 10 years? Because then she can know, "Okay, if I am with this dude, next year maybe he's gonna make $200,000 a year.

Great." Or, "Oh, I have, I have to wait 10 years." And in Michelle's situation, a lot of people, like, shamed Michelle for, for asking that, and even Nikki for wanting to date someone that makes 250.

And I'm like, why are you shaming these people? Because, for example, Michelle, she's frozen her eggs.

She has to do IVF.

That is not cheap.

[laughs]

... being powerful when they have zero power.

Yeah

... we need to let the man take care of the finances and the money and everything, but that is just, just literally a Jedi mind trick to keep women under a man's thumb, keep women oppressed, and keep women from advancing.

I don't care how equal you think the relationship is.

He who controls the gold makes the rules.

That's what it is.

It's like whoever has the money controls everything.

You may not think they do, but they do, and at the end of the day, they're gonna have more say-so in what happens in your relationship than you will.

[laughs] I'm like, "Just go to therapy." [laughs]

Yeah, that's tough.

And because of that, I didn't have money to pay off my student loans, so they're like, "Hey, you have the option of deferring it for five years." Stupid me, not, you know, I went into finance, you know, later, but back then I wasn't in finance.

And I was like, "Sure.

Why not? I'll defer it for five years." Well, Kira, five years later, the 120 turned into 160.

$40,000 of interest compounding that I didn't know about.

Thank you to her for allowing you to share

... yeah, we used to look at her lifestyle and be like, "Oh, my God.

How can I be like her?" You know? Like, she lived in a mansion in Beverly Hills.

[laughs]

Like, you should...

When it...

Like, right.

But again, you know, our love goggles, and our like, "Oh, I want a relationship so badly.

I'm so desperate to be married.

This is the perfect guy.

Restrictions apply.

And there was a day that you were so worried about your mom, you did a wellness check.

Yes.

So what happened was that I received a call from my mother that morning, and she was beside herself.

And at this point, she was under a lot of psychiatric treatment.

She was taking probably six or seven psychotropic medications that I didn't even know about.

I found out later.

And all of them were just making her insane, literally insane.

When did you leave?