Parenting styles

to, you know, we can always add to what we have or like, you know, what we didn't get from our parents because it's a completely different world that we're in right now.

Speaking of which too, Zulema, you know, I've been hearing a lot on the internet about different kind of like parenting styles.

And, you know, as a millennial, you know, I think that our generation raising the next generation, right? We're like, I just see so many fingers being pointed around like how millennials in general are like, just too, quote unquote, soft with their children.

Right.

yeah.

Well, yes, the modern day parent, right? You touched on and shared with me some things that I learned today that, you know, because parenting styles have shifted over the years, you know, and I was talking with my granddaughter last night after, you know, trick or treat Halloween weekend.

Yeah.

About how when I was growing up, my sister and I went by ourselves.

And obviously pros and cons for that.

Yeah.

But kind of what I'm getting at is now there's all these other kind of parenting styles.

There's the gentle parenting.

Taylor.

uh well today we're talking about grace-based parenting there's a really great book uh i'm not saying that we advocate absolutely every word of any book we ever recommend but i think this is a great book tim kimmel wrote a book called gray space parenting and today's episode is not about that book but that book doesn't have a lot of the concepts we're going to talk about today it's like what does grace look like in your parenting we've been doing this series on parenting styles been using a lot of metaphors a lot of what our culture does to describe types of parenting Today, we're talking about a type of parenting that a lot of Christians are familiar with called grace-based parenting.

Now, in the book, he argues that Christian parents could easily drift towards kind of a fear-based legalistic parenting or a permissive parenting.

We might call it legalistic and licentious.

Our confidence is in the grace that God applies to us as parents.

Isn't that good? What do you, if we close out this episode thinking about this for both of us, For all of us.

The parent who's listened to maybe every Parenting Styles episode and goes, hey, I feel like I'm the worst part of the tiger, I'm the worst part of the panda, I'm the worst part of the helicopter, I'm the worst part of the snowplow, I'm the worst part of the thermostat, whatever, maybe all of them or some of them, and they're going, yeah, you guys are describing my problems.

And starting to feel like a series maybe in their heart of condemnation.

Man.

So like I find that like parenting styles are so different with people.

Especially family.

Yeah.

We lose perspective taking and empathy when we're just stressed.

Where else? Let's talk about parenting style.

This is a big one for me when I'm working with parents.

And what sort of parenting might be leading to these traits of lack of empathy?

Well, the answer comes from an incredible guy named Dr. Epstein, who was the president of the American Academy of Pediatrics and excuse me, the APA.

What he did was try to figure out what kind of parenting style matters most.

He tracked thousands of people, pieces of data, and he came up with what matters most.

The number one is everybody who's listening to this is going to figure it out.

All right.

So the first letter, the theme is misaligned parenting styles and values.

So we get a lot related to this theme.

So this is one of the letters.

But I know, Kristen, you and I, when we were prepping for this, we wanted to come up with a couple insightful pieces of advice and guidance for each one of them.

I think we have three letters today.

So I would say for this first one, a good place to start is identifying your own parenting styles.

And if you are in this case, it's a two-parent household.

I think every generation, they want to do something different.

Their parenting styles are different.

Like I know what my mum did.

I wanted to do something different.

Yeah.

So we have, I have done some research on this and we've, we've got some background to kind of cover of parenting styles and different things.

So I say we get into it and monologue as we go.

Okay.

And I think that's the background to it.

I think you really have to work on that.

So I kind of have some parenting styles.

So maybe you can pinpoint maybe how you were raised will affect how you raise your kids.