Niobe Way

But today we're talking about masculinity.

Our guest, Dr. Niobe Way, has spent the past 40 years of her career researching the social and emotional development of young people, including boys and young men.

In her findings, she's identified a crisis of connection among boys and men.

and explore the toxic culture behind it that impacts all of us.

Here's the number, 212-433-WNYC.

That's 212-433-9692.

And joining us now is Dr. Nayobi Way.

Welcome to Please Advise.

Looking ahead, coming up tomorrow, we'll be talking about masculinity.

Dr. Niobe Way, author of Rebels with a Cause, Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture, will join us to offer advice on raising a son at a time when the word masculinity is so often linked with the word toxic.

But today we want to hear from college age young people and their parents.

We're hitting the midpoint in the school semester.

Thank you so much for joining us today here on Please Advise.

Great to be here.

And coming up tomorrow on Please Advise, development psychologist Dr. Niobe Way is going to be here to give advice on cultivating healthy masculinity, solving what she calls the crisis of connection among men and boys.

How do you raise a son at a time when masculinity is so often linked with the word toxic? We hope you join us tomorrow with your questions and advice.

Then on Wednesday, we're getting into masculinity.

Dr. Niobe Way will give us advice on raising a son in the era of the manosphere.

But today, we are talking about sex and intimacy.

The term sex recession is being used to describe the current American sexual climate.

The male friendship collapse.

Niobe Way's research, documented in her book Deep Secrets, involved interviewing hundreds of boys and young men over multiple years.

What she found challenges the comfortable story we tell ourselves about male emotional unavailability being somehow natural or hardwired.

Young boys, particularly in early and middle adolescence, are emotionally expressive, relationally fluent, and deeply invested in their close male friends.

Maintaining other sources of connection often strengthens marriages by relieving that crushing dependency.

male peer relationships, two or three deep friendships, not acquaintances, not activity partners who never breach a certain conversational depth, men who know your actual life, your fears, your frustrations, your ambitions, and whose actual lives you know in return.

Niobe Way's research shows men are capable of this depth.

You were capable of it as a boy.

And it was interesting, 'cause I had...

I don't know if you're familiar with the research of Niobe Way, Dr. Niobe Way-

Sure

...

It's built in the homes of where these sons were raised.

And this is so in sync with what Dr. Niobe Way, who's actually a developmental psychology professor at NYU, has said.

She has spent 30 years researching boys and their emotional development, and the facts are devastating.

By adolescence, most boys have already been socialized out of their capacity for emotional connection, vulnerability, empathy, the exact qual- qualities that actually prevent violence.