Because like, otherwise we are adults still functioning when we go back and hang out with our parents or visit them that we're stuck in that same role where those same expectations are there, unless you negotiate a new relationship with them.

a lot of my negotiation came and i recommend this for a lot of asian americans if you have never taken classes in psychology please do if you have never taken classes in communications please do i think those are the general eds for all asians we need to uh understand how we operate our psychology and emotions I never knew the labels and the words to use for them, let alone like being emotionally regulated and be resilient.

And then when I did coaching and training, yes, a lot of it had to do, you know, even though they say high performance and focus and clarity, before you get focused, before you get clarity, I think the ground rule, like you said, is to negotiate with your inner self.

Where did all of this start? Why are you stuck or why are you acting a certain way? It could be What is the harming voice inside your head? Where does that voice come from? Maybe it's the voice of your parents.

Maybe it's the voice of the expectation you have on yourself, the beating down on yourself.

For me, a few things that I worked on early on when I did coaching and psychology is the way I parent.

Because I felt like when I became a parent, there's no handbook for it.

So then they become adults who can't quite tap into what they're feeling because they have now disconnected from their feelings entirely.