Mm-hmm.

I think when I was in the midst of it and it like it all comes down to mindset.

Like I remember there was little glimpses because I lost a lot of friendships in that time because you really do like you become...

You self-isolate.

You self-isolate but also it's like... it's so horrible for every single other person like it's obviously horrible for you but everyone else around you watching you slowly die is awful as well um and I just remember I had a really good friend at the time and I would just have like these mini breakdowns to her like I was either way I describe and I'm not sure if you relate to this but the way I describe like having anorexia is like you know especially when an eating disorder gets stronger and stronger and stronger and then you get to that end point where you feel like that's just completely consumed you and you've lost those little parts of yourself.

It's kind of like being overpowered almost by a demon in a way.

So say I was 95% this eating disorder which was constantly feeding me like the worst and making me question every single thing I ate, every single bit of exercise I could do, how to just control every single aspect of my life to either burn calories or restrict calories or all of those things.

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