Mentalization
21
MENTIONS
9
EPISODES
4
PODCASTS
Search complete. 21 mentions across 9 episodes found for "Mentalization".
Sep 8, 2026
speaker_1HOST
Exactly.
speaker_1HOST
This is a specific modality called MBP or mentalization based treatment.
speaker_1HOST
And mentalizing is a word we are going to use a lot today.
speaker_1HOST
So we need to define it deeply right off the bat.
speaker_0HOST
Yes, let's do that because it sounds like jargon, but it's crucial.
speaker_1HOST
It is.
speaker_1HOST
At its core, mentalizing is the ability to understand your own thoughts and feelings as well as the inner world of others.
speaker_1HOST
It's the capacity to step back in a heated moment and say, why did my stomach just drop when they said that? Or what might be happening beneath the surface of their anger right now?
speaker_1HOST
Monitor B displays your partner's internal state, their fears, their perspectives, their emotional reality.
speaker_1HOST
Mentalizing is the ability to look at both screens at once and understand that they are displaying two different equally valid realities.
speaker_0HOST
But when she invokes his abuser-
speaker_1HOST
When she invokes his abuser, she triggers a massive amygdala hijack.
speaker_1HOST
If he agrees that he's acting like his abusive father just to soothe her i-in the short term, he destroys his own psychological foundation.
speaker_0HOST
Okay, I see that.
speaker_1HOST
Mentalizing isn't about agreeing.
speaker_1HOST
It's about accurate empathy.
speaker_1HOST
And really exploring what happens between people.
speaker_1HOST
We call this mentalizing.
speaker_0HOST
Mentalizing.
speaker_0HOST
Let's make sure we really define that for everyone.
speaker_1HOST
Right.
18 MINS LATER
speaker_0HOST
She says, if you have to wait for new data to try again, you are leaving me alone in the pain.
speaker_1HOST
It perfectly illustrates the core tension of the MBT framework.
speaker_1HOST
Mentalizing is not a safe, sterile cognitive exercise.
speaker_1HOST
How so? Well, empathy is generally about feeling what someone else is feeling.
speaker_1HOST
Mentalizing is the cognitive and emotional ability to understand our own minds and the minds of others.
speaker_1HOST
It's the capacity to recognize that my behavior is driven by my internal feelings and beliefs.
speaker_1HOST
and that your behavior is driven by yours and crucially and this is the fundamental part it's the understanding that our minds are entirely separate
Ann Kristin HegsethGUEST
Who do I become with you? I don't even like myself with you because I've become this bitch.
Ann Kristin HegsethGUEST
You know, mentalize who...
Ann Kristin HegsethGUEST
Who do you become with me? Who do we become together? Because I'm actually a nice person.
Ann Kristin HegsethGUEST
But I'm with you, I become a terrible person.
speaker_1HOST
It means she simply explores how this newly found peace feels in the room.
speaker_1HOST
She is tracking the space to see if both of them can actively mentalize in this calmer state.
speaker_0HOST
By mentalize, you mean can they hold onto their own minds and each other's minds?
speaker_1HOST
Yes, exactly, because a calm nervous system is the prerequisite for mentalizing, but it doesn't guarantee they're actually doing it.
speaker_0HOST
Right.
speaker_1HOST
That is the exact mechanism.
speaker_0HOST
Yeah.
speaker_1HOST
Under the chronic stress of this 18-month separation, their capacity to mentalize begins to collapse.
speaker_0HOST
Hmm.
speaker_1HOST
Mentalizing is the cognitive and emotional capacity to understand why they feel it.
speaker_0HOST
Ah, I see.
speaker_1HOST
Yeah, while still maintaining the boundary of your own mind.
Leigh MontagnaHOST
Uh, that was the Maldives that year.
Leigh MontagnaHOST
I did the Talos and the Mentalise a couple of times.
Leigh MontagnaHOST
I used to surf at a pretty competent level, uh, Steve.
Mitch ClearyCORRESPONDENT
Did you?