And so the thing that you just said, actually, which is really powerful, I want to repeat them because they're so strong, is it's usually about food and weight, relationships and kids, your career or your lifestyle.

Yeah.

Those are all areas that are, they seem just up for discussion and up for opinion just by you walking in the room.

You don't have to ask for an opinion.

They're just foisted upon you anytime you visit.

And that's really hard.

You know, I don't, I don't want to be pressured about my baby making status.

So in those situations, it can become very tricky when your partner maybe sides with their parent.

And yeah, if the person who's listening has a boundary in mind that they just came up with now that they want to implement or that they've been trying to implement and uphold for a while now, but they struggle to keep it up when it actually comes to the point where you're saying yes or saying no, what should they tell themselves and or the other person when they feel themselves slipping? Maybe you can even share a script.

Yes.

You've just brought up the most important point, I think, where it comes to boundaries, because you can set the boundaries, but you also have to hold them.

Setting a boundary, saying no thank you, and then succumbing to pressure or changing your mind a minute later just because it's easier, that's not a boundary.

Right? So remember, boundaries are not about telling the other people what to do.

You can't do that.

That's controlling, right? I can't make you stop offering me cake, but I can choose how I respond to that.

not as happy as it

And what I wanted to ask you today is, is there a story that you could share with us about a time where everything looked super ideal on the outside, but you were really struggling on the inside? Okay.

I mean, I feel like my mantra is nobody has their shit together.

And I've said this a bazillion times.

I don't care if you're talking about this like billion dollar company or your favorite celebrity or like that person on Instagram that where their life just looks perfect.

I have so many stories, Tara.

But there's one in particular that comes to mind that I haven't told in a really long time.

So let me set the stage.

And so I'm wondering, were there any tools? Like, can you remember, like, tools, rituals, mindsets? Was there a friend? What was the little thing that helped you get through that time?

Mm

... am I feeling? Is this a habitual thing because of the time of day or my emotional state or the action that immediately preceded it? Then you can start to run through your checklist of, like, what's actually happening.

And maybe you still go have the potato chips or the dates with almond butter, but the point is you learn to take a pause and intellectually ask yourself or distinguish between, like, what is actually happening in my body right now? Where am I feeling it? What does it feel like? And then what could I do to satisfy it in a way that truly feels nourishing and like self-care, which may or may not include food.

Yeah

... that I wrote in the 2015 issue, there were words that I used, there were phrases I would use, the tone I used.

I was so much more tough love back then.

I didn't have a lot of empathy for myself even back then, so I didn't have a lot of empathy for others.

I was very unaware of my own privilege and how just the way I was born allows me to walk through the li- you know, my life easier than so many others.

You touched the rail.

I know.

People make it their whole personality, okay? That's not my business.

But in the earlier days, based on the research I saw, but mostly based on the interpretation of that research from the people we had surrounding us, the advisor kind of committee we had at that point, we really believed that seed oils were inherently inflammatory.

An omega-6 to omega-3 ratio was often cited, and oxidation was often cited, but we truly believed that seed oils like canola and soybean oil promoted inflammation in the body inherently.

And so our point on them was just you shouldn't eat them.

And then we...

And I admire you for the fact that you do speak your mind.

this is not my thing kinda thing.

Yeah, I mean, it, again, a good night's sleep has a positive impact on every single area of your life.

You sleep well, you wake up, I wake up at 6:00 AM without an alarm.

I'm energized.

I'm ready to go to the gym because healthy movement in the morning for me is something that's really grounding, and it's part of my morning routine.

I have plenty of time to get to the gym.

I have a good workout because I feel rested.

Yeah.