You don't have enough problems.

It's like comfortable in a way where like at least I like am familiar with this and then you get out of that and you're like, "Yeah, I, I kinda did it." And then you, it's just like you're flooded with just different problems that you're just, when you look at them, 'cause you get so used to what life becomes that then you s- you're like, I remember being like I would never fall into that kind of stuff then it happens and you're like, "Ah fuck doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do.

I'm a piece of shit." But yeah it's, you know, just it really does For me, it's just like learning how to just slow myself down and not be such a fucking spaz every day.

Like, if I-- like, if, God forbid, if I don't get something done or, you know, just one day if I don't get this or that done, it's like just learning how to, like, chill and, like, I don't know, man, just, like, really hash out my priorities rather than being like, you know, just doing the things you think you're supposed to do every day.

That's, there it is.

It's-- Dude, it's, uh...

Yeah, that's-- When I travel for stand-up, I'll, like-- My hotel rooms, it's the same.

I walk into that silence, and I'm like, "Uh." I just kind of-- People are like, "That must be great, right?" I'm like, "No, I don't.

Mm-hmm.

And, and so I'm in there and, you know, I'm, you know, being Mr.

Supportive Dude, whatever.

And you know, where the, the woman's teaching this breathing and stuff and telling me what to do, and like, and she's like, "You're gonna be in a lot of pain." And I, and I, I said, "You know what? What's the pain from?" And, you know, just kind of, you know, I'd gone through, like, combat trauma and all that kind of stuff.

"What's the pain from?" And the woman's like, "You'll never know." And I go, "No, no, I'm not saying I'll, I'll know, but, like, just what's causing the pain?" She's like, "You don't understand what it's like." I'm like, "Okay, cool."

What's going on with this world?

It was the Farm Bill.

The Farm Bill said, Farm Bill that people...

You must kinda believe something that you-

Conspiracy theories, I'll be honest, I, I...

When I was younger, I, I remember when, uh...

What was the one documentary that came out? It was The Ring of Power came out when I was, like, 21.

And you know, you're 21 years old, you just got out of college, and there were, like, DVDs that would go around and be like, uh, "England, Washington, D.C., and Rome are all connected in this triaxle of Satanic power." And you just watch it at 21 and you're like, "Damn, the world's crazy." And then you get older and you're like, "Yeah, I don't think anyone knows what the fuck's going on about anything." So in terms of conspiracy theories, I honestly don't really-

Yeah.

I think they poll- polled people, and I think it was something like maybe 20% of the people believed anything the government said.

It was, everyone had this, like really apathetic attitude towards like, "Yeah, I don't believe anything they say." And then, you know, so that was what? 2009.

... thing about, like, how this-

this-... cop is like prone- Yeah, just popping off [laughs] To, to popping people.

Yeah.

But they were all like justified, you know? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Like the first time, a guy pulled an AK-47 out.

Yeah.

Put down the gun.

Oh my God, like-

"... 85 miles an hour, and there's a fly on the one train in New York, and it goes to the one in Chicago at, you know, whatever miles per hour.

How many times could it make it back and forth be- before those trains met?" And I, uh [laughs] I was like, "Uh, can I have a piece of scrap paper?" [laughs] And I just completely, I completely faked it the...

I had no- I had like no-

It's, like, perfect for a movie.

Yeah, the, I, I just, I just talked to this, uh, author, Buddy Levy, and he, like, chronicles a lot of, like, the Arctic exploration.

He was telling me about there was another Arctic exploration team where there was, you know, all these guys that got stranded, and I think they were, like, military for some country.

And, you know, they're walking.

So.

I mean, that's like, uh, uh, for, as comedians, I feel like your, y- your 20s into your 30s is probably the, the time of the most consumption.

It is like you're alone-

Yeah.

Like, you're...

You know what I mean? You have this like, "This isn't my environment," right? And you, and then you throw in the, the performing and g- getting bumped up from that and just being, like, looking for something.

[laughs]

But yeah, [laughs] just kidding.

Obviously, life insurance.

But yeah, so I, I had a, uh...

From a young age, I was, like, free time rich, and it was weird at first, 'cause I was like, I would, you know, I was always just had to work or I was going to school and working and blah, blah, blah.

And, uh, so I kinda...

Dude, I would wake up...

That's a different book.

[laughs]

And, you know, I like to play the people, and I always look at who in a situation like this is being a little too quiet and who might be a little too chatty, and I find that Timmy has not-

Sometimes they would gang up on us and beat us together.

[laughs] I just remember I had my cousin over.

I'm like, "Watch this," and I was throwing them up at the ceiling fan downstairs.

Then I went to her room, and I started doing it.

It was my sister.

I started throwing them up, and they were just hitting...

that you pay for? No, I'm

just on your phone, I'm saying.

Because it's like you're just isolated in this bunker.

You get off stage, you're like, I'm wired.

You're like, I need to go to bed.

I know exactly how I can fall asleep right now.

And you go like, no, I'll do it like 4% of the time.

that? How was the transition off the porn?

Yeah.

And it's just completely, it's funny, mine are the opposite.

My oldest is like me.

They both, they share characteristics, but my oldest is, like, pretty introverted and, like, low-key, and the other one's just like her mom, which they're like, we, we had a little, like, it was like, they called it a daddy-daughter dinner.

We go out and we play music.

And I'm like, "All right, you know, I gotta, this is my moment.

I dance with my kids." And my youngest was like, "Bro, I'm dancing with my friends.

It's a short wavelength light, and you know.

Um, and some people don't even want that

thatI think that there's been a glorification of fame in a way because of the access to it.

And I think where people used to need to, one, curate a skill to get on a stage in, of some sense, in any sense of art, and then have gatekeepers, for better and for worse, control who gets seen through this thing, uh, it made it harder for people.

And now that it's easier for people, I think there's a lot of people who have access to a loud microphone that, to, to remove any bias, deserves or undeserved, there's just a lot of it.

And I think that's, uh, the idea of cel- uh, uh, a celebrity is to be celebrated, and the things that are being celebrated now are so not curated that I think there are more people now who, who want to be something b- not because they want to be a musician or be an actor or be a comedian or be a painter, but because they wanna be famous.

Thick-

I think they would probably like thick.

Voluptuous would be nice.

You know, actually, you know what?

what?Bring up some of these exterminators first.

I wanna see some of these- Yeah, let's, let's, uh...

Good call.

Let's get a gander at some of these, uh, 10, t- America's top 10 most extreme exterminators, including women.

There we go.

A lot of these bitches will kill anything they go around.

They get some fucking Tennessee wiener in the mail?

Was it a big case? Small? You don't have to get into it if it's-

Yeah, it was small.

It was small.

It was, uh...

Oh, this is making me laugh so hard.

He got...

So he was, like, out of school picking somebody up.

Will you send something back at a restaurant?

What was it like?

It was insane, dude.

It was literally like...

You know, I went to school, again, to be a therapist, but, like, social work, you can be a therapist faster than if you go to school for psychology, 'cause you just, like, don't need any of the science, really.

You just study kind of like the theory and, you know, whatever.

So you can be a therapist quicker.

It's like a shortcut, kind of.

[gasps]

Mm-hmm.

And they, like, "Do this, look at this," and then, and, like, eventually gets to, like, "Imagine, like, you're spitting saliva into a bucket," and you're like, "Oh, what?" And then, like, you like, you like, "Yeah, it's warm," and then you imagine drinking it, and, uh, you have, like, people tend to have, like, a visceral reaction or...

Same thing, like puke.

"Imagine now drinking the bucket," and you're like, you can almost feel your body react to it.

And they're like, "Yeah, that's..." Your thoughts, for some reason, affect your physiology to make them feel like it's real, 'cause your reaction to them are real, but the thought and the interpretation of what's occurring aren't necessarily real.

So learning how to, like, sit with that discomfort so that you don't get, like, hooked into your almost instinctual behavior pattern that kind of dictates, you know, b- your behavior in often a destructive way, versus, like, sitting in that and then just, like, trying to steer yourself towards acting despite the way you feel, which leads to kind of a better life.

Did that give you direction?

It did, yeah.

So you can fit more people.

people.I just, I think doing a stage in a giant place really sucks.

Mm.

Like, the, the whole time I'm up there, I just see someone in the balcony in the back.

It's Keanu.

I'm playing Keanu.

Oh, you're playing Keanu? Yeah, I voiced him.

Oh.

And, and who's playing Morpheus? David James.

Oh, yeah.

Friend and fellow comedian.

[laughs]

So I'm going to ask you who directed it, and I'm going to ask you what city you shot it in, and why did you choose that city to shoot it in?

So Tyler Falbo from Friday beers, he directed it.

I, I mean, I, I've been singing his praises ever since he did.

I think he did a phenomenal job.

He just, you know, he just cared about it a lot.

Like he would dig into details that I wasn't even thinking of.

And he was just till the very, very end.

But would you say overall consistency wise that people you were encountering were pretty, pretty good matches for you?

(laughs)

And he was an older guy, and they were like, you know, um, blah, blah, blah.

I called him, he's like, "Yeah, I'll meet you at my house." And, but it was like a driveway situation, with like multiple houses.

The kind of like in the sticks a little bit.

And, uh, and I pull up in this driveway, and I'm, I'm terrible with directions.

And I'm like, "I think this is this guy's house?" And I was just like, "All right." So I, like, walk into this dude's house with a school bag with two pounds of weed in it.

And there's a dude, another older guy outside.

He's chill in that region.

All right.

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[laughs]

I can't think of one word.