Martin Kemp

His rhythm went arseways.

He fucked up a couple of gigs for Martin Kemp and was demoted to being the guitar tech.

He tuned the bass, kept the strings fresh for another man to live in the spotlight.

Always the runner-up.

And Jason Donovan could get fucked at this point.

His disciples asked him why the maggot was worthy of their worship, and he told them it's because no life on Earth can escape the maggot.

"You could be Axl Rose," he said, "Kate Bush, Martin Kemp, and the maggot would still visit your body when you die.

Maggots don't care about record deals or whether John Peel played your demo tape.

I'm not having a go.

And people clearly like him because in 2025, he came fourth on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, ahead of Martin Kemp and Jack Osborne.

Blimey, O'Reilly.

But behind winner, Angry Ginge.

Aha.

Do you remember your man used to wear the leather straps on his, uh, on his wrist? Do, can you recall that? Martin whatever his name was.

Yeah.

No, I'm not familiar with that.

"... or whatever." So I did do it on Spandau Ballet a couple of weeks ago, and the AI came back and told me that Tony Hadley and Gary Kemp are brothers.

Now, they're not.

Gary Kemp and Martin Kemp, well, obviously, sharing the same surname, they're brothers.

And then, uh, when I went back and said, "Uh, no, you got that wrong." "Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

standard weekend.

That's them popping down to casinos to see Martin Kemp.

Yeah, it actually is, though.

You know what I mean? That's actually a fact.

If you know, you know.

You know about Martin Kemping.

Say no's.

Um...

It's a massive night of dads.

So in your head, are you imagining just a collection of normal dads or famous dads? Because I think there's a version of this where it's David Beckham, it's Bradley Walsh, it's Michael Whitehall, it's Martin Kemp, and they're all sort of all over Europe having a nice time doing some sort of travelogue programme.

Yeah, no, or open mic, like puns night, followed by dad dancing.

One massive night of dads.

And I mean, his sort of...

Kemp.

Kemp did it.

Martin Kemp, I think.

Yes, yes.

Yeah,

Richie Miller was our second one, still in touch with him.

And then Martin Kemp joined us in... 1978 when we were the gentry just before we came span out

because as they tell the story because Mark Kemp had told Gary that he had to get his brother into the band or because Steve Dagger said he's the best looking bloke we know we've got to get him in there's various versions

there's various versions I refer the right honourable gentleman to this.

So, you know, we knew Martin because obviously he was Gary's brother.

But I ultimately knew he was just, he was helping Andrew out, right? But I still thought it was Andrew for me, um, originally.

But however, I, um, on, in the height of kind of the, my EastEnders time, when it was all the who shot Phils, this, that, and the other, and Martin Kemp, um, was on the show.

He, um, from Spandau obviously, and um, he had, uh, Martin Kemp had, had This Is Your Life.

And so I was obviously part of the audience, you know, in his, part of his kind of set up, um, you know, on, on the set.

And George was one of the guests.