Yeah

... deep thud in the night, and then I looked over and he just was not moving.

His face was planted into the concrete.

Uh, and then this slow, dark trickle of blood came out of his head.

Um, and I just thought he's dead.

So I looked to the c- corner and, uh, I was at a train station and I saw a, a camera.

So I thought, "Okay, I'm gonna go to prison for that." So I got my coat off and I put it over his head.

Mm.

Talk about that.

When I was a young boy, my dad was an alcoholic.

He'd put me down a lot, call me a buffoon, tell me I'd never amount to anything, call me bad, and that stuck with me, and then I started, um, to rebel.

It's a pretty cliche story.

But then I got, um, involved with things like shoplifting and, uh, lighting fires and criminal damage and stuff like that, and I was getting arrested from the age of 13.

I was also...

Actually missed out a stage.

Tell us more about that.

Uh, in your court proceedings, you were diagnosed as a psychopath, as I understand it?

Yeah, I mean, I had s- lots of delinquent behavior from a young age, and I racked up loads of different, uh, offenses, and I was at a...

Actually, I don't know if you guys will know, but it's called an ASBO, which is an antisocial behavior order, when I was even a child where I was banned from public and couldn't be with more than two people.

I was expelled from school.

I went to a young offender's institution.

Drink, drugs, chaos, all sorts of things.

Um, and then, yeah, as one of the, one of the 19, I think 19 convictions that I had, there was a pre-sentence report where I had a psychiatric assessment, and they diagnosed me with having this antisocial personality disorder, and I didn't realize at the time that that was the closest clinical term they give to a psychopath, and here we are.

I mean, is that a big lesson that you can teach people as a psychopath?

What are like some of the most common ways in which you are able to help people who can't get into your mindset or could learn something from your mindset?

I think a lot of people have these felt sensations going on in their body, which psychopaths don't have.

They have only logic, which enables them to have these strategic steps that they carry out with any influence over any emotional burden.

I think a lot of people don't understand their emotions correctly.

Some emotional cues are signals to alert us to potential danger or what have you, but some of them are mirages.

They are definitely misunderstood.

The amount of times I hear people say, it just doesn't feel right.

to people,

Was that something that you said, "Yeah, crack on, that's fine"?

Yeah, I mean, throughout my journey I, I shared my story for the first time in rehab.

So for everyone that doesn't, is sort of catching up at the minute, I went to prison for the th- for the third time.

I changed my life through a realization moment.

I went to rehab.

I started from absolute scratch.

Um, I went to college, I went to AA and NA meetings.

Mm.

Does that make you a psychopath? And why are you walking around telling everyone I'm a psychopath? I can help you with your life.

Yeah.

Well, it wasn't quite as sort of black and white as kind of me just deciding to call myself that.

I was actually diagnosed when I was 18 with an antisocial personality disorder.

And at the time, I didn't think much of it because I was committing lots of crimes.

My life was very chaotic.

It wasn't just a case of I didn't feel anything.

tiny voice in your head that says what if i embarrass myself what if i fail what if everyone judges me what if i do terrible with this what if everyone hates me like that that little nagging insecurity voice is it strong for you is it there at all

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I say we are.

Right, there we go.

Because, no, we're not really a cult.

I play with it.

I'm sure you've heard of Russell Brunson, the marketer.

I learned this.

Like you know yourself so well, right?

Does that make you a psychopath? And why are you walking around telling everyone I'm a psychopath? I can help you with your life.

Yeah.

Well, it wasn't quite as sort of black and white as kind of me just deciding to call myself that.

I was actually diagnosed when I was 18 with an antisocial personality disorder.

And at the time, I didn't think much of it because I was committing lots of crimes.

My life was very chaotic.

It wasn't just a case of I didn't feel anything.

tiny voice in your head that says, what if I embarrass myself? What if I fail? What if everyone judges me? What if I do terrible with this? What if everyone hates me? Like that, that little nagging insecurity voice, is it strong for you? Is it there at all?

right

I don't know how much you know and how much of this is a surprise but When I was going for a pre-sentence report, which is, so I was arrested for some very violent offenses because I was very angry at the world.

You know, stepping back a little bit, I never really felt loved.

Well, I didn't feel loved.

I don't know if that wasn't there or I couldn't receive it or experience it, but there was this internal void.

And I sort of associated love to significance in my brain.

I can't feel the emotions, but I can understand them intellectually.

in

Does that make you a psychopath? And why are you walking around telling everyone I'm a psychopath? I can help you with your life.

Yeah.

Well, it wasn't quite as sort of black and white as kind of me just deciding to call myself that.

I was actually diagnosed when I was 18 with an antisocial personality disorder.

And at the time, I didn't think much of it because I was committing lots of crimes.

My life was very chaotic.

It wasn't just a case of I didn't feel anything.

tiny voice in your head that says what if i embarrass myself what if i fail what if everyone judges me what if i do terrible with this what if everyone hates me like that that little nagging insecurity voice is it strong for you is it there at all

Yeah.

You know, if you s- see me as significant, it must mean you love me.

Um, so I decided I wanted to be famous from a young age, and, uh, it's strange 'cause my parents did provide for me practically, and they did allow me to do acting, singing, dancing.

And, uh, I was actually all right at it as well.

And I enjoyed that 'cause it gave me, you know, stimulation and something to do, and I was on stage, people were looking at me.

And so I was, like, 10 or 11 years old.

I was just going into secondary school.

Okay.

He's the psychopath that has morals and rules.

Yeah, like, 100%.

So when I was younger, I had a very abusive father who'd put me down a lot, call me a buffoon, tell me I'd never amount to anything.

He would hit me.

My mum was very emotionally switched off.

And I kinda went through my life feeling unlovable, and I don't know whether that was because there was no love there, or I wasn't able to receive it, or I wasn't nurtured around it.

But I didn't feel love, and I had this internal void, you know, something missing, and I tried to find it with various different things.

Oh