Yeah

... "Well, no, actually, we live, we live in a pretty dysfunctional sick society, so we shouldn't be doing things the way we're, we've been doing things 'cause they're not working." Um, same goes for our relationship dynamics.

[laughs] Um, most of us, myself included, the imprints in which I received from the modeling in my early childhood home, also my matrilineal line, was codependent.

Didn't have a voice, didn't have boundaries, didn't know how to set limits, didn't have a, a healthy, clean connection to my anger, so I couldn't really advocate for myself in relationship 1.0 with Mark.

[lips smack] So what that really looked like for me was I kinda took on the infantilized role of like, "Help me.

I'm incompetent.

I'm broken.

Mm-hmm

So when you're working on making sure that you are resourced, what's an example? Like, what are you doing to resource yourself?

Well, I think first and foremost, I'm naming when that martyr narrative shows up or when I wanna default into hyper-independence.

And for me, so much of my resourcing at this time is really simple, is, like, sleep and food and nourishment.

So I'm like, how do I get high-quality nourishment in my body? Because my hormones, I'm keeping, I'm sustaining this other being's life, so I need to make sure that I am well-nourished, and a lot of that is, like, hydration, sleep, food, a shower.

Like, it, it really comes back to those simple basics right now.

And then in addition to those simple basics, one of the main ways we're resourcing in addition to all those pieces is we've actually brought on some support to support us during the day, just to create more capacity in our family nervous system, and that's been really supportive, of somebody just to help around the house, of doing the dishes, of, you know, supporting in all the myriad ways that I need at this time so that I can be more present for Jasper.

And that's been...

Uh-huh