Karpman drama triangle

And I was introduced, actually the book was finished.

And I was introduced to an idea called the Drama Triangle.

It's a psychological model that describes three roles that we humans often slip into when we're hurt.

It's a triangle.

And I think that is the job of anyone in a people function to be able to test some of those things out and enjoy it, playing around with it.

I'm thinking back now to some models that we talk about in Instant Impact actually around, and they come back to this thinking around accountability, you know, the Cartman triangle.

Yep.

Where are you being? Are you showing up as like being accountable today or are you sitting in a space of victim or rescuer or persecutor, which is this triangle is where you so often show up when things don't feel right or are going wrong at work, outside of work, et cetera.

We're gonna look at McEwen's allostatic load, which is basically what carrying other people's emotional weight does to your cardiovascular and your nervous system.

And then we're gonna look at the Karpman drama triangle and call out the ugly reality that most eldest children secretly love being the rescuer because it gives them a sense of moral leverage.

And then we're gonna open up the Bible, and we're gonna look at the older brother in Luke chapter 15, the guy who stayed home, worked himself into the ground, followed every single rule, and ended up just as spiritually lost, bitter, and isolated as the prodigal who blew his inheritance on prostitutes.

If you're an oldest child, an only child thrust into adult crises, or if you're the sibling who ended up carrying the emotional weight of your household, this episode is gonna sting.

We don't want to fully look and see it.

Right now in Dare to Connect, our program for addict spouses and couples, we just started a dynamic involving the drama triangle, going into Cartman's drama triangle.

We're doing a module on that, and right now we're in the thick of talking about why do people engage in the drama triangle and the roles tied up in the drama triangle.

In other words, why do coupleships engage in inauthentic communication? Why do we attempt to have our needs met through inauthentic means or through not portraying them honestly? You can hear in that module that we're doing, but also in this problem here, there's one key thing in common, and it's a lack of transparency.

And then the other one may have something happening for them where they feel stuck and they feel avoidant.

And what we often see is Theoretically, we call it the drama triangle.

And we have a victim, and the victim may be the carer in this situation, the one who is doing it all, all the time.

There might be the one that lives far away who is the persecutor.

It's something that you're doing maybe even subconsciously to feel better about yourselves in some way.

And it's called – as I was studying and researching this topic, I came across this phenomenon called It's called the Cartman Drama Triangle.

It was identified in 1968.

And psychologist Cartman identified three roles that are unhealthy that men fall into at times.

And I want you to identify if you fall into one of these categories.

And we can talk about how to take ourselves out of these categories and approach this in a more healthy way.

I've also heard it called the winner's triangle.

And it was developed by a person named A.C. Choi.

You are actively choosing this.

Let us analyze this codependency through a clinical lens, because it perfectly illustrates the Cartman drama triangle.

It's a model of social interaction mapping destructive relationship dynamics.

There are three roles, the victim, the rescuer, and the persecutor.

But I'm going to talk about it later in this episode.

And both of these I thought about because the drama triangle, Cartman's drama triangle, is a concept I've been hearing about for a very long time.

I've recently heard my friend and co-host of the other podcast I create, Jamie Lee Finch, she was talking about it in a really intriguing way.

And it's been coming up a lot in my life this past year.

And the one I really quite liked in terms of its succinctness was this article from www.attachmentproject.com. And so that is where I'm reading excerpts of that from to explain what the drama triangle is.

So let's just dive into it.

What did this article say? What is the drama triangle all about? The drama triangle, based on the work of Cartman's drama triangle, can help us understand how we tend to fall into unhealthy roles in relationships.

This article can help you understand how to break out of the drama triangle and lead healthier relationships.

We talk about the circle of belief.

We talk about, um, It's called the Victim Triangle, which is how we do drama in life.

And we talk about, we recognize that everyone there is in some form of protection.

So we work on, you know, calming their protections and bringing them into a place of learning.