Justin Lehmiller

And If you look at a graph and you look at, you know, how often women reach orgasm at different ages, it does go up with age.

And just one thing about aging, we recently, this is going off your question, we recently did a study here, Justin Lehmiller and I are collaborating now, which is brilliant.

And we did a study looking at older women and we found that If you look at whether or not, not many people have asked this, whether or not the quality of their orgasms or the ease of reaching orgasms changes.

Most women said the quality was about the same.

See if there's an interest.

Apparently, Justin L. or Lee Miller is, he apparently found, he did a research study and found 60% of men have fantasies about cuckolding, right? So it's super common.

Have the conversation.

See what your partner thinks and if you can take a little bit of fantasy from it.

Uh, Justin, thanks.

We're, we're, actually, we're just getting started, so we're excited for today's guest, Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

I met Justin, I think, Justin, it was in 2008 when you were just starting out as an assistant professor at Colorado State University.

And now, almost 20 years later, you're a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.

Yeah.

So, um, with my colleagues at the Kinsey Institute, the project was le- led by, uh, my colleague Dr. Rh- Rhonda Balzarini, and, uh, also Dr. Amanda Gesselman, who you know, and Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

And we worked with Playboy, now that their magazine is out again and has a whole b- new rebrand, for an initial exclusive on the study, and with, uh, Julie, the, uh, women's contraceptive company and wellness company, uh, helped sponsor the study.

So it's this great partnership and in part because there are all these questions, particularly for young people, for Gen Z, of what's going on with sexual behavior.

I'm able to stay friends with someone and it just be about sex," knowing yourself in this experience is really important.

Really interesting study that came out, Justin Lehmiller and colleagues f- followed friends with benefits over time and found the person hoping it would turn romantic was least likely to get what they wanted.

[laughs]

Only about 15% did, which is why talking openly matters even more here than in a regular relationship.

And that, my friends, is where today's episode gets really interesting, because I found an interview that I think you're going to absolutely love.

Today, we're gonna be listening to Holly Randall, host of the Holly Randall Unfiltered Podcast, interviewing Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and a researcher associated with the Kinsey Institute, who did something that I think is absolutely brilliant.

He went out and asked more than 4,000 Americans about their sexual fantasies.

I love this.

And maybe sometimes there's something interesting to learn, but maybe sometimes your brain is just being a horny little bugger, and that's okay, too.

So today I'm doing something a little different.

I've taken this really interesting conversation between Holly Randall and Justin Lehmiller.

I've trimmed it down to some of the parts I found most fascinating.

There is something about group sex.

Uh, it is when they do surveys, like Justin Lehmiller's book, Tell Me What You Want, when they do surveys of people's sexual fantasies, some form, some iteration of group sex is almost always at the top of the list, the most popular fantasy.

And that can be the threesome, a foursome, moresome.

I actually think there's something deeply coded in our human sexual erotic subconsciousness about group sex.

Turns out, though, I'm not alone.

There's a Kinsey Institute researcher, Justin Lehmiller, and a lot of you guys have probably heard his name.

If you're into listening to podcasts or other people that are in the sexual genre, just in this whole little industry here, you start to hear some names pop up a lot, and Justin Lehmiller is very prominent.

He did a very large U.S. sexual fantasy project which surveyed about 4,000 adults, and of that, 76% of women in Lehmiller's survey had fantasized about sexually dominating someone.

Now, that's interesting to me that it's 76%.

The larger finding that was in this study is that power and control and BDSM is just obviously one of the major recurring fantasy categories across both genders.

It's not just some tiny niche population.

But there was an interesting gender contradiction in that study, and women in Lee Miller's research were more likely to fantasize about being dominated.

And this is a...

I think it's the only book, it's by Justin Lehmiller, which asks people about, it's about sexuality.

Uh-huh.

What they like in terms of sex and what kind of, uh, you know, scenarios they enjoy, and they ask different people.