How do the toxic relationships begin? How do they form and then where does it go from there? Do you find that there's a pattern?

I'd say so.

I mean, I grew up very not confrontational, which stems from things that are completely my fault.

I don't want to say my fault, but no one's perfect and everyone has to work through their own things.

But I definitely was less confrontational.

I would become friends with people who would take me under their wing and would say things to me or belittle me, make me feel like I'm not smart or I can't do anything, things like that.

And I would just brush it off or laugh it off and it would just bleed into things in the future and like a lot of these people I'm still close friends with and we've I've had my share of toxicity in our relationships and we're adults now and we talk about these things and there's all love and some of my best friends but I think you know especially moving to a brand new city I'm from New York or New Jersey New York I moved to Los Angeles in 2018 I didn't know anybody so it was a very vulnerable time of my life And I wanted to make new friends.

angst or the, that feeling that you're doing something kind of dangerous or risky or even revolutionary in some way.