Ready to be seen?

My name is John Mulaney, and, uh, a few things about myself I should tell you.

Uh, for years, uh, I was a child, and during that time I went to a school, right? But I was terrible in school.

I was awful at it.

My worst subject was math, and in the grade school that I went to, they did this thing one year where they divided all the kids up into two different math groups, right? Based on your abilities.

And the first group that you could be in was called the Blue Angels.

[laughs]

That [laughs] would make a great romantic comedy.

[laughs] How long have you been in town? I mean, uh, you guys obviously-

We, well, we're here, we're not just here for Juste pour rire, which, uh, the JFL, which is a wonderful...

Uh, two weeks of French comedy and two weeks of good comedy, and-

If you just want to join in, you're welcome to.

Yeah, da, dee, da, da, dee, da, da, da, da, da, da.

Yeah, da, da, da, dee, da, da, da, dee, da, da, da, da, da, da.

Step right up, meet the Mets.

Become friends with the Mets.

And h- did you have a good crew? Did you like working with the br-

Oh, that's the thing.

Oh, at the Tony Awards and working on Broadway, you have developed such an appreciation for all of the departments from set design, costumes, lighting, sound.

They're such talented craftsmen.

And, uh, we had an amazing prop master named Mike who was so devoted to props that I asked him once, he worked on a show called I Am My Own Wife, which was also at the Lyceum Theatre, famous Broadway show starring Jefferson Mays.

And I asked him, "W- what is that about? I never saw that." And he said, "Oh, that show?" He goes, "That's about all these phonographs, okay? And then you have all these antique clocks, all right? And then you have all these antique chairs, you see?"

[laughs]

But he was my favorite guest 'cause he didn't watch the show.

Girl Scout cookies are

delicious.

They come in Thin Mint and Samoa and also other flavors.

How come I have to know a child in a beret in order to get them? Just sell me the cookies.

You know what I mean? I have American money.

Just put them in a store and I'll buy them.

And have some pride in yourselves, Girl Scout cookies.

I love that.

Head games.

Seriously.

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Mm-hmm

Forgive me if this is a naive question, but is sobriety something that you have to think about every day?

Well, that's a good question.

I don't think about, um, cocaine, opioids, and, uh, benzodiazepine every day.

I'll acknowledge that I understand the vigilance I need.

I do not think about it every day.

I just, I don't.

I do think about the ways that, um, I can lead my life to perhaps never feel the kind of strain that, that got me there.

Oh, be woo-woo

Yeah.

At one point, I'll tell you about the acting thing, you know, where you really are in it.

There was one moment where I wasn't thinking about, you know, uh, [laughs] something else.

I was really in it.

And Jamie Lee Curtis is yelling at Sarah Paulson, and Sarah, uh, no, Sarah Paulson interjected something unscripted when she's fighting with Jon Bernthal.

And, uh, Jamie Lee said something like, "Why don't you shut your mouth, you little bitch?" And I went, "Hey, hey, hey."

Uh-huh.

That song.

Former solicitor general

... yes, former acting solicitor general, was arguing against the tariffs in front of the Supreme Court.

He invited me to go watch.

We're working on a Supreme Court project together, but I'm also a Supreme Court argument nerd.

He, this is my first live argument.

I sat in the back, and it was incredible.

... oh, he's, he's a good arguer

... and won, right? But he didn't know it that day he'd won.

How were the

kids? They were great.

We were traveling.

I did a big show.

Oh, that's a beautiful family photo.

That was the best one we got.

Yeah.

So your mother in law is

You don't have to answer this question (laughs).

It was kind of...

It was- it was almost like being in...

It was like kind of like, um, that's a good question.

Exactly how to articulate.

It was a bit like a horror movie where I was like, "How did I..." Like, um, I don't trust...

This sounds, this sounds a little dark, but it is a- it's not a super happy topic, so that's fine.

Mm-hmm.

I think this, and did he have a bat?

No, but it was as if Joe Clark, uh, from Lean On Me took it to the appropriate level, which is some fighting.

Oh, I, I listen to the male-

Yeah, they're on testosterone-

(laughs) Yeah, yeah.

And this felt like some kind of evergreen, weird, not quite any era talk show, uh, that-... also is trying to be, you know, that- that's also a varie- a variety show in some ways, that's also trying to be like Jools Holland or, uh, David Sanborn and Jools Holland Night Music, you know?

Yeah.

... uh, it, uh...

I mean, certainly I don't need to tell you that.

But, like, there's also, uh, rather than feel like, "Oh, are you all disappointed in me?" There's this great, like, great extra familiarity with the audience from it.

What did you learn from that experience?

Oh, many things.

Um, if you have a sort of a thread, if you have like a, a, if, if, you know, your show is like a balloon, and there's, there's a, a thin thing that you can only define that you want it to look like and sound like and feel like, and even if you have trouble articulating that to people, you have to keep it alive.

Um, there were elements to it that I... wasn't that anyone had bad advice.

I just was...

I just couldn't say, like, "I want it..." I could, I didn't have the, um, nerve to keep repeating, "No, I want it to look and feel like this, and flow like this." And so, I look back on it, there were tons of good jokes, so many funny things in, but the way I packaged it, it just landed with a thud, you know.

It just, it's something about the way it felt and moved, and the music, and every little element.

What excites you now? What excites you about comedy?

'Cause you don't care about-

Can you imagine pointing the stars out to them and lying and making up names of the stars?

Mm-hmm.

This was when a lot of people, like, a lot of people through the New York Times had just heard about Jon Stewart or something.

Grainger, for the ones who get it done.

(instrumental music) Hi, my name is John Mulaney, and I feel litigious-

Whoa.

... about being Conan O'Brien's friend, sir.

Yeah, no, but I love those stories. I love heckler stories.

Um, the best... I got... I, I was doing Bonnaroo one year, uh, and I was doing... There was a big comedy tent at the Bonnaroo Music Festival in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. And, um, someone said, "We've signed you up to do a show at the VIP camping ground." Like, the organizers of the festival. And I said, "What's that about?" And they said, "Just get on the back of this golf cart." And they drove so fast, uh, in a golf, in the back of a golf cart, which is like falling out of a chair forever. (laughing) And they... I get to this, uh-

Yeah, that's me.

Like, there were, there were performers who had a lot of writers and there were... You know, I really don't hear about it much anymore. There are people who do standup who, uh, also do so many other types of sessions that, uh, acting sessions and directing sessions that they eventually have writers, but, um, most people seem to-